Sunday, December 30, 2012

I am so excited to have gotten this page set up in a way that I am able to sort through it and manage it better. I hope it seems easier to navigate for everyone.

Exciting news, I have been so focused on getting this page, my twitter account, and all the other things that I am working on within this career, set up that I haven't paid a lot of attention to my Goodreads account. When I headed over there earlier while I was setting this up I saw that I had gotten my first review on Your Own Disaster, which happens to be five stars!! I cannot even begin to express who exciting that it makes me, and it simply just validates everything that I am trying to do. I just need one person to like it, it's enough for me.
OH and I must express the extent of excitement I have that the Indianapolis Colts are going to the playoffs and just won today against the Texans (yes, they are my NFL team)!!!


I hope everyone has a magical day and do something to make someone else smile!
I love this song!


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Autonomy teaser #2

This is subject to change...



I press my body against one of the post and I position myself so I will not fall off and I feel myself sliding into a relaxed position. I know that I am falling asleep, but I am too exhausted to care. I wake with a sudden sense of panic as I hear whispered sentences from all sides of me. My eyes shoot open and I am lying on my back in the middle of the statue with my feet dangling over the edge. I hear the crack of a laugh and I feel my body go ridged as I feel a presence at my side. I snap my head over and see a man smiling down to me. In the midnight sky I cannot manage to make out his eyes but they look like two black gaping holes in his head. He smiles to me and I can tell by the smell of his breath that his teeth are decayed and that his gums probably swell up over his teeth. As quick as I can make my movements I reach up with my left hand reaching over my body grabbing a hold of his stringy, dirty hair and slam his head into the statue I imagine that when his skull slides down the statue there will be a giant crack in it. But there’s not. I see the man lifelessly slide down and crump up onto the ground. I sit up suddenly and notice that I am indeed surrounded, Nomads are on all sides of me and there is not a single escape route. Sure, I could jump and make a run for camp taking a few out on my way, but I know that would do nothing but lead my camp into an ambush... which is most likely what they want. I survey the group surrounding me and know that there has to be at least 40 men… grown men… standing around me.
“You know that I could kill you all” I calmly state. Do not show any sort of fear I tell myself.
“I’m sure that you could take down a few of us… but all. Come on now.” One of the men that I cannot see says to me. “All of us,” And everyone in the circle around me starts to laugh. For the first time in my life I feel like I am out of my league and that I am outnumbered, but I know that my choices are: run to camp killing a few on the way, Fight them all and hope that somehow I manage to win, or give in and let them kill me. I’m not sure why but I know that I cannot go down without a fight. I jump down from the middle of the statue that I had fallen asleep in and land squarely on my feet. The first man in front of me jumps in my direction and I block his punch grabbing hold of his wrist and kicking him in the chest, the first rule to fighting that I learned is not to be the one who throws the first punch, but yet expect what they are going to do and react to that. I kick his chest with all the force in my body to he falls backwards the whole time trying to regain his footing until he falls taking down the two other men that were behind him.
A second man charges at me from my left and I jump backwards out of his way while he knocks out the men to my right. I know that it’s only a matter of time before they overtake me. One man comes up to me from behind and I can sense his presence before I know that he is there. I slouch over just enough to give him running enough momentum to throw him off of my back and onto the ground in front of me. I stomp on his face with all my force breaking his nose. I hope jabbing into his brain. He doesn’t move off of the ground and I hope that I had conquered what I was hoping for.
I feel a hand on my forearm and try to manage to wiggle myself free but I cannot move it. The clamp of the hand is so tight that I can feel the blood cells bursting and forming a bruise from where he is holding me. I take a deep breath trying to remain myself from crying out in pain. I feel my elbow pop out of joint and I cringe in pain as I pull my body around to look at the man. He is just as dirty as all the other Nomads that I have seen. I sigh as I see into his eyes. His eyes are hazed over. I’m not sure what from. I wonder if it is true what they say that if you eat humans it will drive you insane. It takes one look at the man standing in front of me to confirm this theory.
As I try to fight off my attacker I feel my other arm snatched back when I am trying to draw back to hit him. I gasp and look over I am not trapped and I am standing between two men who I have no doubt in my mind want to eat me. I sigh and let my body go limp. I am captured and there is no point in trying to fight them.
“Oh, what no more fight?” one of the men says to me. “I like my dinner with a little kick.” I want to cry out for help but as far away from camp that I am I know it will be no good. I want to cry out for Ryker’s help. I look up to the man and shake my head. No, I don’t have any more fight.  And he roars with laughter. “Well now, let’s go,” He says snatching me by the arm again and I wince with even more pain as he pulls my elbow further from its home. “Larry was really looking forward to you,” he screeches at me, “You will be in his honor.” He tells me again and the crowd around us roars with laughter.
“You’re scum you know that… all of you.” I scream at them, and before I even see one of their hands pull back I feel the pain shooting through my body and my eyes roll into the back of my head.

I wake in a room that is dark. I am guessing that it’s almost dawn because I can see a sliver of light coming through a tiny window in the top of the wall. I pick my head up off of the floor and survey the room. There is a window at the very top of the wall, on the opposite side of the room, not even big enough to put my hand through. The floor is concrete, and the walls are made of brick. For a moment I wonder how they managed to get this place. The door is heavy and seems to be made out of some sort of metal its cold to the touch. I take a deep breath and look to my left where a mattress, a pillow, and a blanket lay.  I wonder if anyone has ever used it before… and how many… and if so, how many lived. I wonder if Abby stayed in this exact same room. I feel my heartbeat in my eye and notice now that I cannot open it all the way. I sigh and let myself drift into a deep sleep. Surely they know by now that I am missing, but I haven’t been with them for long. Will they want to come and find me? I let my hand slide down to my pocket in my jeans and graze over the necklace that sits inside of it. I sigh when I feel its presence. I remove it looking to it, I clasp it into my fist as I raise it to my hand and I say to it… “Please, help me make it out of here.” I’m not really sure but this manages to give me hope.

My ears perk and wake me up when I hear the sound of a key in the metal door, and I scramble to push the necklace back into my pocket. I feel my body tense and I push myself into the corner of the wall.
“Well, you be awake” I hear a snide voice say as he sees me. I do not open my mouth I just stare back at his intense stare. Do not show them any sort of fear I tell myself it’s the first rule that we learn in school about fighting.  He laughs and looks back to me “Where did you learn to fight like that?” he asks sitting down on the bed. Him being so close to me makes me extremely uncomfortable, “You took on three grown men at once and then killed one of our men, broke another one’s hand, and killed another man last night. You can’t be from that little group. None of them are that strong, well except for one of the guys out there. Where are you from?” I sit quietly. I had heard somewhere before that a traitor for the Autonomy was worth more to them than the ones that opposed them. “You were with them,” he says to me. I know by them he means the Autonomy so I continue to hold my glare on him as he roars with laughter. “Well this day just got better,” he says smiling and slamming the door. I exhale and then know that they have figured out that I am from the Autonomy and that when they come for me that they will kill me, but if I’m going to die either way at least this way I will still remain intact and I will not be consumed as food.
I sit in my cell block slowly realizing that I was sitting in a prison. After the man leaves me in my room alone I manage to pull myself up the wall until I am looking out the window. There’s nothing to see except a large open field of grass. I can’t even make anything out past it. Would it matter if I could get out would I be able to find my way back to the camp? Would I be able to get through that field without anyone noticing me?
I sigh deeply letting myself fall back down to the floor and then walk over to the bed and slouch onto it. I look to my side and that’s when I see the carvings. I press my face closer to them as I see twelve little slash marks representing each day; each day that the person was in here. I run my fingers overtop of them as I feel my fingers indent one more time. I look closer as I see the small “A” written on the wall. I knew that Abby sat right where I did and carved these into the wall. I wonder with what? They kept her alive for two weeks and then decided to kill her. It makes me sick to think about it. I wonder why they kept her alive that long.
I lay myself down onto the mattress and try to think of how I am going to get out of here… alive.
Even though I am dreaming I know that I am having the same dream as before. I am standing on top of the central building for the autonomy. I am looking over the city and for the first time in my life I finally feel safe. I see the city sitting under me and I smile to myself. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I know that I will turn around to see those eyes. Those eyes that I have grown to know. I smile as I feel the hand slid up my arm and to my shoulder as I slowly turn around I look for those eyes. I smile to him as I look up into those eyes. Only this time, unlike the rest, when I pull back to look to him I see the rest of his face. “Ryker,” I gasp. “What are we doing out here?”
“Shh, enjoy it. We won’t be able to for much longer” My eyes flutter open and I can only hope to find Ryker sitting next to me or to find myself sitting anywhere besides the prison that I am currently in.

I sit in my cell that day trying to get an idea of what I could do to get out of here. I walk over to the door and shake it… it doesn’t budge. “Shit” I state and kick as hard as I can. Feeling my toes slam into the door I wince and sit back down on the bed. I pull off my boot and toss it over to the other side of the room. I rub my toes to try to dull the pain and it subsides. I lean back onto my elbows and look up at the ceiling and I feel myself excepting the fact that I am most likely going to die in this combine. I sit back up and try to get comfortable by pulling off my other boot. I toss my left boot across the room and lay back onto my back all within one motion. The heavy boot hits the wall and then falls to the ground. I hear a ting as in metal hitting the ground where the boot fell… My eyes flutter open with recognition…. The knife, I put into my boot before the nomads came for the fight. I smack myself in the head and feel anger in myself for forgetting. How could I forget that it was in there when they tried to jump me in the square?
I pull myself up off the bed and hurry across the room pulling for my boots again and pulling them onto my feet quickly so it doesn’t look like I have done anything at all. I snatch the knife up and tuck it into my pants. I need it to be at my reach within a second. I cannot tempt to put it into my boot again. I am lying back down on the bed and hope that they come back soon. I need to get out of here… quickly. Before they get a hold of the Autonomy and have them on their way here to come and find me… and if they have already gone to them claiming that I am here, it isn’t safe for the group to be here anymore.


Hope you like it!! 

Hope everyone has a magical day and do something to make someone else smile! 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

the grammatical illiterate editor.

I recently have gotten my first review on one of my stories... which said something along the lines of good potential but a lot of grammatical errors... which I am completely alright with... and let's be honest this is my short coming... but the person who wrote the review said it was a good story which makes me extremely happy, and makes me want to work on my grammar even more. I will continue to write and I will continue for my work to be out and about, BUT once I feel more comfortable with editing something I will make another attempt of editing it AND if I still do not feel good about what I am doing, I will then pay for someone else to do it.


Wish me luck!

Hope everyone has a magical day and do something that will make someone else's day!!
                                                                                                                       -N

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Autonomy

And Lastly here is a teaser from my current project... Autonomy... which is subjected to change.


Chapter one



It’s still dark out when I rise from the night of sleep. I know that no one else will be awake and I grab on the first pair of pants that I can find. I throw a shirt over my head and run to the bathroom I wash my face; not knowing the next time I will feel water on my face. I don’t have a lot of time to get ready. It will be time for rec check- as I have started to think of it- in 2 hours I need to leave if I am going to make it anywhere. I grab my bag from the floor that it sits on and walk into the kitchen I grab snacks, something quick to eat without stopping and a couple bottles of water. I throw them into the bag and I look into the mirror one last time. My red hair; almost too red to seem real. My bright green eyes and my non-freckled porcelain skin. I see the bags under my eyes from the nightmares that I have been having the past couple of nights. I’m sorry mom I whisper to myself feeling like I am betraying her. But it’s not her I am running from… it’s the Autonomy. I cannot be here any longer in their grasps. I walk into my mother’s room that hasn’t been occupied in days and pull open her jewelry box. I rummage through it but cannot find anything that I want to keep. I yank open her sock drawer and find a white box. I remember seeing it a few times. I lift the lid and look inside to see a beaded necklace. It’s beautiful and looks fragile and old. I know that she has had it since she was a child. There’s a loop for your neck and where it connects the necklace keeps going but only with one strand then at the end there’s a cross with a man on it. I do not know what this is, but I know that she never wanted to lose it. She kept it hidden so that they wouldn’t find it. I push it into my pocket as I grab one of the oversized black hoodies and walk out the front door. I watch over my shoulder at the empty street, but I keep my head down as I pass the cameras that hang over top of the city. I walk to where I had seen the whole in the chain linked fence and where there are not any guards. I pick up a rock throwing it up to the light pole that stands over the camera… If there isn’t any light to show me escape they will just be looking for me to arrest for destruction, but it’s too early for them to be paying this much attention to a camera, where no one goes to this early in the morning. I throw one more rock knocking out the light on the opposite side of the street I wait for a moment in the darkness and listen to see if any guards are coming after me. This city is so quiet at this time of the morning and I run as fast as I can to the hole in the fence. I force myself to go through it and then I am out. I’m out of the city for good. Until I am finally free. I run for a few feet and then I turn back around. I hear the shouting coming out of the speakers in the city which means that it is time for everyone to wake up… Everyone to wake up, but still two hours before everyone has to check in… I begin to run.

I can hear my footsteps pounding on the ground. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, and all I can see around me is the trees. The shouting behind me stopped hours ago, but I know that if I stop my feet from moving that they will catch up. The trees fly past me as I continue to will my legs to go forward. I know that I have been running for hours I can feel my muscles in my legs pleading with me to stop, but I push forward I have to get as far away from the city as possible. They will know before too long that I left. They will figure that out. I begin to slow down and look around. I am in the jungle. The trees have grown up so much around the city that you can’t see to the next town. I remember as a small child looking from the top of one of the buildings that my mother would take me up to and we could see for miles, now you can only see forest. My heart aches as I think of her and I slow to a walk. I take deep breaths but cannot seem to catch my breath. It has been dark for hours, I started at dawn. I slow my pace and come to a stop I have to be far enough away from them to be able to walk.I catch my breath and look around me. I’m not sure where I am or if I’m even still in Georgia. I kneel over so that I can catch my breath and sit down on the ground. I slip into a shallow sleep for a little bit and when I open my eyes again I see that dawn is breaking once again. I have now been free from control for an entire day. I get up and start walking again.
“Stop” I hear the shout come from behind me and then I hear the slight click of the hammer on the gun being pulled back. I go ridged I know that they have found me “What’s your name? Where are you from? What are you doing out here all alone?”
“My name is Cole, I’m from Atlanta, look I don’t have anything on me to hurt you with.” I say knowing that he has a gun pointed at my head; I don’t blame him for this. The grass is surrounding me almost up to my waist I know why it was easy for them to hide from me. I can conjure up a memory when everything was still relatively flat.
“Atlanta?” he asks
“That’s where one of the regiments are.” A new voice says to him.
“I know” he shouts back to the other man “You’re apart of them?” He directs into my direction.
“No” I shriek
“Then why were you in Atlanta?” I now feel the barrel press against to the back of my head.
“Well..” I mutter pulling up the courage to tell them “I was a part of them” I admit and I’m not sure if it is a good idea or not “But I left.”
“Why, are you a spy for them? Out here to see what we are up to.” The second voice says.
“No” I gasp as I turn around seeing his face; his deep blue eyes seer into me. “I left because I realized that they are not right. That they had me brainwashed.” I left because they killed my mother; I left because I dreamt of you… I want to say, but he won’t understand, they would think that I was crazy. I think to the dreams… about seeing these blue eyes up close to my face… closer than anyone had ever been to me in my life. He has been in my dreams since I was a child.
“I’m sorry” I hear the first voice say “but we don’t have any other choice. We have to do this”
“Don’t apologies.” I say “If you don’t do it. I’m sure they are going to be out looking for me and kill me by tomorrow morning.” I see his eyes search mine, and in that moment I wonder if he has had the same dreams. I sigh as he pushes the gun barrel closer to my head and I suck in all the air that my lungs can fill knowing that any second I will hear the shot go off before it enters my skull, if I have to die I’m glad that his face and those eyes are the last image I will ever see. Although, I have just met him, with the dreams that I have had I feel like I have known him my whole life. I take a deep breath and I hear him exhale as well. I have seen this enough times to know that this is what people do right before they pull the trigger. I close my eyes.

The mastermind

Here's a second teaser of the day...

from my second novel Your Own Disaster...


I heard footsteps behind me as I sharply turn the corner and begin to pass the back entrance of the bar when I slammed into a hard body in front of me.
“August, my love” my knees give out yet again as I heard the accent come over me as he embraces me leaning down to whisper in my ear “Play along… there is a man following behind you” he silently told me. Then he raised his voice and began to speak again “I was waiting for you and I couldn’t find you so I came out here to look for you and here you are.” he smiled; oh, that smile.
“Yes” I stammered over my words “I just came out the front to get some air.” I see Lucas watch the guy from the corner of his eyes.
“He’s gone.” He told me releasing his grip around my body. As soon as he let go I instantly wished for his arms to be back around my body. I see his eyes intensely stare at me. “Why are you out here so late walking by yourself?” he questioned me.
“Alright, dad, if you must know I was on my way home.”
“This late, by yourself?”
“Yes, I never planned on staying this late to begin with.”
“Alright I see.” He paused looking back to the door again “Well, let me take you home.” He suggested.
“No, thank you. I am fine walking.” I retorted to him.
“Alright then, let me walk you home.”
“That’s not going to happen.” I snapped at him.
“Well, then I’m going to walk behind you until you get home. Then once you get inside your home safe I will walk back.”
“If that’s what you want to do” I told him. He just smiled his crooked smile at me.
“It is”
I turned around in a huff and started to storm off in the direction of my apartment. I noticed that he stayed about 6 paces behind me at all times.
“Natural or not?” he asked me.
“What?” I snapped back
“I’m sorry” he laughed “The hair, it’s extremely bright red I’ve never seen a color that bright, so I have to ask.”
“Oh, it’s fake, but I’ve been dying it for so long that no one remembers what my natural color is.” I admit to him causing him to laugh out.
“Why red? I mean most girls go for blonde” that’s the first comment that made my feet stop and turn around to face him causing him to come closer to me than he had intended to be.
“Because I’m not like most girls” I said pointing a finger to his face. “Plus, it’s the most unnatural, natural color. It’s my rebellion against the cliché of what you are supposed to do as an adult.” He looked to me with almost a confused look on his face, and I turned back around to continue my course toward my home.
“Why don’t you want to become famous isn’t that every singers ambition?” I asked him a few moments later, him still 6 paces behind me.
“Probably most I guess. Fame is just something that I have never been worried about. I mean I have a great day job and I do this because I want to and sure it helps with the bills. How did you know that anyways?”
“Will and I went to high school together, we haven’t really talked in years but he wanted me to come out to this and when he stopped to ask me what I thought of them I asked about your band because I had never heard of you guys.”
“Will from the band that went on before us?”
“Yea”
“How old are you?” he asked me
“Why is that relevant to this situation?” I questioned him
“Just trying to make conversation here I will go first. I am 26… now your turn.”
“25” I told him rolling my eyes at him.
“So I have to ask why didn’t Will make sure you got home safe?” he questioned me, I thought that I heard a slight bit of sarcasm in his voice when he said his name
“I told you we aren’t close”
“So why did he invite you out here if he isn’t interested or close to you?”
“Because I work for the paper doing a music column.”
“That’s you? I’ve read it a few times. It’s really good.”
“Thank you” I looked over and realized that he had managed to catch up and is walking right next to me as I come to stop looking up to my apartment. “Well this is me.” I told him.
“Well, August, it has been a pleasure saving your life now twice since I have met you.”
“Thank you for those by the way.” I smiled to him, and caught his eyes making eye contact. Before I realized what exactly was happening I felt him throw his arms around me; me following his lead, and his mouth upon mine and my forceful kiss in his return. I pulled my key from my pocket and opened the door to the complex pulling him inside with me. We made it up to my apartment, I pulled him inside with me, and he pulled away from me for a moment…
“This is not what I had intended when I offered to walk you home” my knees went weak again and he caught me.
“Shut up” I simply said to him causing him to laugh and I felt his lips crash to mine again. He lifted me off from my toes and I wrapped my legs around his body bringing him in closer to me and felt my butt rest on the kitchen counter and I realized that he wasn’t sure where to go.
“Down the hall on the left” I whispered in his ear and thought for a moment that I felt his body shiver as I said it. I felt him pick me up once again and pull me into my bedroom. I felt my head touch the bed followed by the rest of my body and felt the warmth, muscle on top of me. I wanted to see what he held underneath the black shirt that covered the remaining tattoos on his arms. I grabbed at the bottom of the shirt, lifting it over his head, and gasping at the tattooed covered torso.
“Oh, fuck me” I shouted out. Realizing that I had just shouted this out loud I looked to him and he had a questionable smirk on his face. “The tattoos” I managed to mutter out, and watched him nod telling me that he understood. He then grabbed the shirt tails of my shirt revealing the pale skin underneath my long sleeve shirt. He pointed at my left ribcage and my right hip pointing out my own tattoos.
“Nice” he said.
“Thanks… there’s more.” I responded to him pulling his mouth back to mine.

I woke up the next morning feeling like shit. I wasn’t sure how many drinks I had actually had and for some unknown reason whenever I got drunk I woke up ungodly early. The first thing I noticed when I awoke was that I was naked, but I was in my bed… which I had done alone before. It wasn’t until I rolled over and saw Lucas lying next to me did I get the flooding thoughts of last night’s escapades.
I got ready for work as quietly as possible and when I was finished I sat down in my chair I had in my bedroom which faced the bed. I just looked at him for 10 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I walked to the spare room which also was used as an office and grabbed the stack of post-it notes out of the drawer with a sharpie and walked back into my bedroom scribbling down
Lucas-
I had to go ahead and leave for an early meeting. Feel free to grab anything to eat from the kitchen if you could just lock the door on your way out. Thanks
-A-
I looked him over wondering where would be the best place to leave this. Bathroom… what if he doesn’t go in? Nightstand… what if he doesn’t see it? Pillow… what if he rolls onto it? Fuck it I thought as I reached across the bed and slapped it gently onto his forehead. Well hopefully it won’t get lost now. He makes a sound and I instantly freeze not sure if I am going to be able to make it out of this house without him waking up and finding me in the act of leaving. I slowly turn around completely expecting to find him looking at me. When I look over my shoulder I see that he is still asleep though. I raced for the front door
I know it’s an awful thing to do when you feel the need to explain yourself but I left with that pulling out my phone as I descended the stairs to call Emma feeling that I was doing a walk of shame out of my own apartment.
“Hey Auggie” she said as she answers “It’s it still really early I figured you would be dragging ass since you went to that concert last night.”
“Em, can you meet me at the diner?”
“Oh no, what did you do?”

The struggling author

I have decided to put up some teasers for my novels that I have written...

Here is a teaser from Hate me...


For some reason at that moment I get distracted and see a couple to the right hand side of the room sit down. The woman is beautiful… she is about five foot seven, long blonde hair, bright green eyes, and a huge rack… I look down at myself in the dress I had picked out for the evening and sighed my chest would never look as good in anything as hers does in that stupid dress. Then the man that is with her gets up and walks to the bathroom… Mark is still talking about whatever he is saying as I am trying to pay attention I see the man from the table with the beautiful blonde walk out of the bathroom… SAM I shout in my head… how did I not know it was him… My arm falls from its position and knocks over the glass of water on the table. Shit. Mark slides his chair back and the waiter runs over and brings me a new water and a towel to clean up my mess.. I sit there embarrassed… and I move over seats so that my back is to their table saying that my chair has gotten wet from the water. The waiter looks to me confused and I just shake my head. I can’t believe Sam is here with her.
“You know I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.” I say…. I just couldn’t stand to see him here with her. I was worried that for a second that Mark was going to be upset with me… “I’m sorry” I half-heartedly say...
“It’s alright…” as he says this our food came to the table… “Actually I’m sorry to do this but the lady isn’t feeling well and we really need to get going could you bring over a couple of boxes so we could take it with us and bring the check”
“Right away” the waiter responds and walks back… we pay for the check and start to leave... when we leave we have to walk past the table… and Mark is in front of me pulling me along behind him…
“Shit” I remark as a drop my purse right before the exit… and my phone falls out and behind me… I am forced to turn around and bend over to get it… As I’m standing up I glance up and find Sam’s eyes on me. I see him move to get up from his chair and big breasts move her hand to his... he looks down at her for a moment but by the time that he looks back up I will already be out the door because I cannot stand to look at him… all that talk of finding a different assignment and he’s having dinner with big breasts… ugh I huffed off in frustration… before I left I saw a look of frustration in Sam’s eyes… we get back to the car and again Mark opens my door for me and I smile again…
“Look, I’m sorry I’m just not feeling so well”                                                                             
“I understand Trish. It’s not a problem” he was so nice about it… Then my phone buzzed
Sam: Looks it’s not what you think it is…
I had already decided that I wasn’t having this conversation. So I didn’t respond… Next thing I know we are back at my apartment and my phone buzzes again
Sam: Let me explain
I still had planned on not having this conversation… I get out of the car and so did Mark he walks me to the front door of my building where I thought he was going to turn around and walk back to his car and leave when he said
“Can I come to make sure you make it alright to your house?”
“Yea, that’s fine… look I feel bad about dinner why don’t you come up and have dinner that we ordered”
“I would like that” he smiles and walks through the door with me… I started to head for the stairs and he looked at me strange and points to the elevator and questions me...
“Elevators freak me out” he chuckles at my answer “don’t laugh… there’s many things that could happen… they could break and we could die in there” I tell him and he starts laughing harder as we ascend the stairs up to my apartment…
“I think your being a little dramatic”
“I told you before complicated” I point to myself trying to make him understand that it wasn’t just my life that was complicated but it was also me…
“Alright I agree you warned me ahead of time” I feel my phone buzz again as we make it to the entrance to my floor…
Sam: Will you please talk to me I huff not wanting to have this conversation
Me: No
Sam: Why
Me: Because I am on my date and I don’t want to have this conversation right now
“Sorry” I look say to Mark
“Over protective friend?” he asks
“Yea”
“What does he want?” he asks me
“Nothing just seeing how the date is going”
“Oh he knows?” he pauses. “Why do you seem aggravated then?”
“Cause he won’t leave me alone.” I laugh as I unlock my door, and we walk in the apartment…
“Wow… this is an incredibly place you have here. WOAH… what’s with all the locks?”
“Hey don’t criticize my apartment…” I laugh… “I know it’s a little ridiculous but this is how I got it”
“Trish… how do you afford all this?” he asks me.
“I told you rich aunt…”
“Do your parent’s help out..?”
“Um… yea kinda” I respond... ugh… I don’t want to make up stories right now… my brain is already in overload…
“Trish I have to ask… are you close to your parents? I ask because I’ve heard you mention your aunt more than your parents” he asks
“Well we used to be… but I don’t talk to them anymore” definitely trying to avoid lying “I moved here in a way to get away from them” technically it’s not a complete lie.
“That’s awful to hear… ready to eat?” he asks… yes and he breaks out the to-go food that we had just gotten from the restaurant.
“Do you want a beer or some wine to go with it?” I ask him…
“Want to spilt a bottle of wine?” he asks.
“Sure” I agree... we sit down and start  to eat… it feels natural to talk to him in such a calm place knowing that I wouldn’t see Sam or Big Breasts… we had a great time eating our food not having to be fancy and proper in the safety of my own home… he was funny and charming… He made me laugh and made me forget for a moment or two that Sam who has always implied that if things were different he would be with me and watch out for me… but he sure doesn’t waste any time to go off to dinner with big breasts but I guess I couldn’t be too upset because here I was doing the same thing.

Monday, December 3, 2012

writer, editor...graphic designer?

It can manage to be frustrating sometimes because I am too stubborn to ask for help so I do everything on my own... especially when it comes to writing I believe that I am to worried about what people will think about my writing that I do not ask for someone to edit it... and I mange to do the covers myself... although I truthfully enjoy this part beyond belief... SO, I have finished my cover for my paperback edition of my novel... which I am hoping to be able to receive and have sit on my shelf in the next few days!!! (considering that createspace is in charleston or columbia... one of the two it is usually here in a day or two at the most) well here is what it is going to look like!!! 


DUN DUN DUN


hope anyone who reads this thinks its as amazing as I do! 

Again have a magically day and do something to make someone smile
-N

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Your Own Disaster!!

I enjoy this title because it kind of takes on two meanings....

Life and times of your own disaster

OR
who knows I might actually be talking about my latest book!

I uploaded the book to both smashwords and to kindle... now all I am waiting on is for both to send it through... it will probably be available on kindle in the next couple of days and then who knows how long smashwords will take to send it out.. :/

BUT either way I am extremely excited about it! I loved writing this one...

Here's the current track that I am listening to for anyone who is interested!



Hope everyone has a magically day and no something to make someone smile!
                                                                                                                -N

Sunday, November 25, 2012

the self-motivated author

The second edit on my second novel is now complete .. spent the last few days forcing myself to do it... I would have had it done sooner but I had some unexpected family issues come up that we had to go out of town to take care of. I am hoping that my second novel will be available at the beginning of the month... depending on how long it takes smashwords to review it! anyways... I am beyond excited now!!! Yay!

Here is a link to follow if you want to download a free preview of the book before it comes out next month!!

"Stay classy San Diego"

Hope everyone has a magically day and do something to make someone smile today!
                                                                                                   -N

Thursday, November 22, 2012

someone somewhere...

Happy Thanksgiving... I guess though here on the east coast it is no longer Thanksgiving... but anyways here is a quick list of things that I am thankful for...

-Having an amazing husband who supports me in conquering my dream...
-Sleep (especially with it calling me to come to bed within the next few moments.)
-The fact that my father in law is getting better after being very sick two weeks ago!!
-People who read my stories!!

On Feedbooks, which is a site that I have a free preview of my novel at there has almost been 700 downloads of it since the fourth... which I feel like is pretty amazing! Can it reach a thousand by the end of the month? I hope so... :)

Here's a song... I know that I usually put some sort of rock on here.... but I cannot get enough of this song!
Plus she is super adorable... lol

Hope that everyone has a magically day and do something to make someone smile...

                                                                                                                     -N

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

excited writer

Yay... I finished my cover for my second story... and got the approval from all the appropriate sources (which is really just my friends saying "I really like it")

So, here it is... a big reveal...

Yay... BLUE!!! you can read a sample of it Here and I am hoping to have it edited and published by December, but life is trying to prolong this...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

the impatient writer

I think one of the most frustrating things in life is learning to have patience... I do not have much patience and I am known to jump off the handle about useless things. As some people who may... or may not... read this I have posted the first few chapters of my book on feedbooks so that people can read the beginning of it and see if they like it... or not... I hope that they do, and although it has been downloaded on there 444 times (at least that is what the website is telling me) I feel like people still do not know about it. I only wish that more people would read it. I want to entertain people... that is my goal. I have sold 4 books (that I am aware of... the other problem with smashwords is that you cannot see the amount of books that you have actually sold until it is reported to them... as of now it is showing that it is up to date from August to September... AWESOME I know right...) which I guess is alright considering that it is my first novel and that it has only been out for 3 weeks, but I just wish that more people would read it. I'm not trying to complain just thought that this might be good for someone to read that is in the same situation.


Here's a song to cheer everyone's spirits... especially mine. Brian Fallon from The Gaslight Anthem (my favorite) and The Horrible Crowes
Yes, I know that I have posted a few videos from TGA... it's because I adore them and I could listen to this man sing all day!!!

Hope everyone has a magical day and do something to make someone else smile...
                                                                                                          -N

Friday, November 9, 2012

the book reviewer

So... I usually don't review books, because I look at it like this... It doesn't matter what I think of a book. The writer spent so many hours, and so much emotion writing it that I don't feel that it is my place to critique their creation. They made it specifically like they saw it.

That being said... here is my review on my own book.

When I was writing Ryann she irritated the hell out of me. I hated her. I hated the things that she did and the things that she said, but on the same side I pitied her. I felt my heart breaking as I knew how much she was hurting. I wrote her the way she because I thought to myself that if I was in this situation I would be flaky, un-trusting, and hate everyone just as she does. I loved how she fought with herself about being in love with Sam, and I loved how she did what she thought was right for him. Maybe she wasn't right, but her heart was in the right place.


I loved everything about Sam. He's cheesy sometimes, but he's genuine. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and there was never any doubt in my head about how much he loved Ryann.

I will admit that the writing in this book is probably not the best, I'm alright with that and have excepted it, but I also believe that writing is like an art form. It's something that writers do to express themselves and why should expression have guidelines... or maybe I just tell myself that to make me feel better... who knows...


that was my short review...

Hope everyone has a magically day... and do something to make someone smile.

                                                                                                                       -N

the self-proclaimed writer...

I am currently printing for the second edit of my second story... It is beyond exhilarating... and I am completely happy although I am still unaware of how my first story is doing... but I figure that if I work my butt off and I am nice to people I should make it somewhere.

I worked on my cover to my second story last night and I am completely excited about how it looks (although it does not look like a professional cover it is my creation...)

I hope that everyone likes it when I can finally get it out.

I love the second story that I worked out... more so after I edited it because I fell in love with the characters as I did read it.

My third story is currently shelved waiting to grow on it's own as it is waiting to be re-edited...

And I am currently typing on my fourth story... although I came to a road block yesterday and do not know which direction that I should take... so I will take a short break from it as I edit number 2... which happens to be titled Your Own Disaster... I will say it is somewhat different from my first story... I will post a summary on here as soon as I get it written....

I love what I am doing right now... writing that is... and I am hoping that one day I can send everyday enjoying it without having disruptions of other jobs...

One other love I have besides writing is music... although I have zero talent when it comes to that... but I do enjoy sharing my favorite songs with people... who may or may not be reading this... so here is my song of the day I have been listening to it as I edit my story... and it has probably managed to alter it somewhat...



Hope everyone's day is magically and do something to make someone smile...
                                                                                                          -N

Thursday, November 8, 2012

enthusiastic writer

... words cannot express how thrilled I am that on feedbooks the preview of my story has almost been downloaded 200 times... it's amazing!!

Also, my story has just been added on Barnes & Noble although I am not sure why the cover isn't showing up... :/
Had to share that with you inter-web!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

the insomniac.

Here's the whole cover of Hate me... I enjoy the story only hope that everyone else does as well... I am now in the final decisions of a name for my second novel and will beginning a final edit in the next few weeks. I have almost finished the cover art for it (yes, I'm sure that it is not a superb idea to create my own... but I will like it.) as soon as I am finished with it I will post it up on here. 

Here's my video of the day...




Once again have a magical day and do something to make someone smile... 
                                                                                                                  -N
 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

the attempt at a marketing guru... :/

That is complete sarcasm because I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to putting my book out there for people to read... but as of now it is on:

Amazon (paperback and ebook)

Kobo books (e-book)

Sony e-bookstore (e-book)

Smashwords (e-book)

Itunes (e-book)

I also have set up my Goodreads account (and I have a review, even if it is 3-stars I think that it alright for my first attempt at a novel)...

I also have set up a feedbooks account that the first six chapters can be read...

I am waiting to see just how much it is going to cost to advertise on goodreads but I am just waiting for them to send me the information... I'm not sure what else to do..


Here's my daily video, because I believe that music makes part of the soul and right now I am definitely sitting with my headphones on listening to some so I believe that you should be too... and I have been kind of obsessed with this song since I watched him perform it on the special with Ellen DeGeneres receiving Mark Twain prize

I hope that everyone has a magically day... and do something to make someone smile!! 

Love, N

Friday, November 2, 2012

the depleted human...

I'm pretty sure I just write this for myself...

I just finished the editing on my third story... the title is looking to be Autonomy (I wrote it in 3 weeks). Its going to take awhile though. I edited it so far, but I have to go back and add in some parts to it. I like to think about writing as adding the bones and then going back and adding the rest of the story. Only important things though. It's still going to be a little while before I am able to put it out for everyone to read... That is also right with 'Tangled into you' which is my second book, and I still have to go back and make adjustments to that one. Although I feel that I will put Autonomy out before the second one only because the idea came to me and I became obsessed with it! I couldn't stop thinking about it and actually had to put the second book on hold to write and finished Auto...

I'm feeling exhausted form working a job at night, trying to get this writing off the ground, and my husband, I am also re-cooperating from school. Which I will be starting back up in the summer after we move to where ever we are going to...

Here's the video of the day.
I know that I'm still a wreck! 

and again hope you have a magically day and do something to make someone smile! 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

the exhausted insomniac.

I feel sometimes that I have to split my life. I am worlds worst for writing and even sometimes editing my stories and work while I am at my actual paying job. I certain that one day I will get into trouble for doing so. :/
I am so exhausted from trying to slam everything into my life that I cannot even sit and think straight, but at the same time I have approximately 13 pages left of the first edit on my third story (which at this moment is my favorite) but I am having a dilemma  I do not want to go to sleep because I want to finish, but I can barely keep my eyes open. So I think that I will succumb to sleep right after I move myself away from the computer.

Here's my daily song for everyone... I have been listening to this CD since yesterday and it has motivated me into editing my story... oh and F me... I managed to throw away some of my ideas for rewrites in my story and my playlist... :(


Hope you all have a magically day... and be sure to make someone smile! 


-N-

Friday, October 26, 2012

the satisfied writer.

Alright so I have a sinking suspicion that zero people have read this but whatever maybe one day.

I'm beyond thrilled for multiple reasons.

  1. My first book "Hate Me" has finally been accepted into the premium catalog within samaswords... which means within a few weeks that my first novel will be available on multiple devices... 
  2. I have finished doing the first edit on my second novel
  3. I have started doing a first edit on my third novel (which was my favorite to write)
  4. I have figured out a name for the second novel... (I started writing it in July and just figured out a name)
  5. I have almost finished the front cover art for the second novel (which I <3)
  6. I got my paperback copy of my first novel.
I am hoping that this is the beginning of something amazing!!!
Here's a picture of my first novel.

 
Check it out... :)



quote for the day
"You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it"
                  -Benjamin Mee  We bought a Zoo 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

the insomniac

My anniversary was yesterday (YAY!!). hubby said he was going to get me my tattoo I have been wanting for awhile... so, in what better way, with me attempting to start this writing career and with him getting out of the marine corps, than for me to get "refuse to sink" tattooed on my foot. I love it and love the symbolic meaning behind it.

I am making this promise to myself... I will not give up on my writing dream until I have managed to make something of myself... I'm not asking to be famous... I just want to write something that outlives me!

Monday, October 22, 2012

the excited writer...

I published a short novel a couple of days ago...

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/247261

http://www.amazon.com/Hate-Me-ebook/dp/B009V9R7I4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351010342&sr=1-1&keywords=Nicole+Tetterton (here it is on amazon for kindle. The paperback will be ready shortly!)

As sad as it sounds I had one person download it... I was more than excited... the most exciting $2 that I have ever made!

I am currently in the process of finishing/editing my second novel (which is about the same length) I am hoping to put that one out soon.

I like to think that if I completely work my ass of at this and if I am extremely nice to people I will make something out of myself... here's for hoping...

I created an author page of facebook... if anyone reads this and is interested here's the link

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nicole-Tetterton/252707034851939

This is a playlist that I have manage to put together for my story!

A Day to Remember- You Had Me at Hello

 Pink- Split Personality

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Guardian Angel

The Gaslight Anthem- Great Expectations

Breaking Benjamin- Sooner or Later

Breaking Benjamin- Dear Agony

NewFoundLand- Stay with Me

Blue October- Hate Me

Theory of a Deadman- Santa Monica

Ateryu- Wait For You

The Early November- 1,000 Times a Day


Saturday, October 20, 2012

the angry editor...

Beginners mistake... 

forgetting to indent the entire story.... 

please shoot me already... this is taking forever!!!! AHH

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

the frustrated editor...

I have one thing to say about editing... IT EFFING BLOWS!!! I generally love writing but going through my story and working out the kinks (although I like my story... it makes me smile and makes me sad all at the same times... Good thing I have Brain Fallon singing in my background to make me enjoy this whole process anymore. (FYI... Brain Fallon is the singer in The Gaslight Anthem and The Horrible Crowes.... if you haven't heard about them you should check them out right... now) I'm hoping that since the story that I am editing is my first one that I have written in years that it will get better the more I write... because this seems to have a problem with present tense... (BLAH)



this is a problem that I feel I need to work on, and I am pretty positive that I have caught them all so far!

Monday, October 15, 2012

The low esteemed writer...

I finished my third story a few days ago... overwhelmed with joy in fact! Now, my problem happens to be that I am completely petrified to publish them. I am terrified to get that one ounce of negative feedback that will completely crush my entire being. I never ever write a bad review about a movie, book, music anything... because well I can understand from their standpoint. They spill their soul into this [insert which ever media outlet] and then someone comes and talks about how awful it was; how they hated it... I understand constructive criticism but I have learned throughout life that many people can be completely hateful and mean. How do I build my esteem up to the point where I can put myself out there without wanting to be crushed?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The aspiring writer

I come home some nights and create ideas in my mind. I write them down and sometimes when I read over them I realize that they are indeed not very good. I do not have a degree, and I have a job that sometimes irritates me more than anything else, but when I create these images and these unique places I become so engrossed with them that I am not sure if they are mine or if I am reading the work of someone else. I will think about a story that I have been completely focused on and will catch myself thinking "What book was that again?... Oh, yes... that is the one that I have been writing," this fact makes me happy. I hope that one day I can call myself a real writer instead of someone who is trying to break through in this career..