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First Chapter to Beautifully Chaotic

Here is the first chapter as I promised.

It is a rough version and still up for edits and changes...

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October 26“ 2012

It happened again. The blackouts are getting worse, and more frequent. I thought at first that it was just because that I was so stressed. I mean I don’t remember them happening until after it happened. But now I am afraid. Now I am scared that it’s something that has made itself into a permanent fixture into my life. I lose time; hours sometimes days, and when I wake I am always in my bed as if l have been sleeping the whole time. Hell I could be sleeping the whole time, but that doesn’t explain the marks, it doesn't explain the cuts and bruises. It doesn't explain my friends being pissed at me when I call them. It doesn't explain the hangovers I get sometimes and the house being trashed when I wake up at times. It doesn't explain the random beds or the random faces that I've woken up to. And it doesn't explain this...

I wake up groggy to a knock on my door. I pull myself out of bed, realizing that I am naked and I grab a

few clothes off of the floor and put them on and begrudgingly walk to the front door. I see a man standing through the window with his back to me and I wonder if I should open the door for him. My neighbors are pretty close on either side of me and it's in the middle of the day. I glance over to the clock realizing that I have no idea what time it is and see that it reads 2:30. God, I slept most of the day away. What day is it anyways? When he hears me open the door he turns around and smiles at me and I can't help but gasp. My god, his hair is just long enough to run your hands in, and his tan skin contrasts his blue eyes. I see the torn up jeans that sit low on his hips low enough that I'm sure the tight black T-shirt, that shows off his sculpted arms, would show the small strip of hair if he stretched right now... I have to stop thinking about this. I can't help but let my eyes rake over his toned body, and then back up it again. His smile widens as he looks to me. I know that he has caught me checking him out and then his eyes turn from excitement to wonderment.

"Chell,” he smiles at me and I am stunned, how does he know my name? “I see that you made it home   last night." And I look to him confused again, "Well, uh,” he stumbles over his words seeing that I have no idea what he is talking about. "You left this at my house last night.” He says as he reaches over to me and hands me my phone, "I thought that you might need it.” and he turns around, quickly and begins to walk in the opposite direction towards his car. I don’t know what to say so l just let him walk away. I don't stop him and I don’t want to ask what happened last night, why I was at his house, or who is he? I don't want to know how I got to his house or even how I forgotten my phone, or how he knew where I lived. I don’t know anything about this guy, but yet here he seems to know more about me than most people do.

 I let myself forget about the man, who l realize that I never got his name, and get on with my day. l leave my house and go to the store, being as I am now living all alone in this house I need to start picking up the slack. Putting the groceries away my phone rings.

 "Hey, Ali,” l almost yell into the receiver.

"Hey, look do you want to go out tonight?” she asks me, it has been months since I have been out with her, not since before my parents died.

"Alright," I finally tell her.

”Yay, well we are going to Aqua, we haven't been able to make it there since it opened two months ago. Be ready by nine and l will come and get you."

”Sounds good.”

At nine, I'm not ready; in fact I'm sitting in my bedroom with the door to my closet open and just staring inside. ”Chell,” I hear Ali scream through the front door, we have been friends for so long that she just walks into my house. “Where are you?"

"Back here.” I say quieter, and watch as the rounds the corner to my bedroom.

“What are you doing? You're not even dressed." I look down and smile at myself sitting in my underwear.

“It’s been too long; I don't know what to wear." She smiles a sad smile and then walks into my closet grabs a few hangers and then walks back out.

"Wear that. You will look great, now hurry up.” I change and walk out of my bedroom moments later.

“You look great, now hurry up.” She says as I grab my purse and make sure that my I.D. is inside.

The drive to Aqua is quick and within minutes we are there. We walk up to the line and immediately the bouncer smiles and walks over. ”Chell, you can go ahead and go inside." l look to him confused, but I don’t ask any questions. We walk inside and Ali looks at me

"What was that about?” and l just shrug my shoulders. ”Chell, how does he know you?”

 "I don't know.” I say louder than I mean to and she looks at me like I hurt her.

“What do you mean you don't know?" she asks me again.

”Ali, I don't know okay?" as we walk up to the bar and I reach into my wallet to grab out my I.D. as the bartender walks over to me and smiles.

"CheII, the usual?" he asks and I see Ali glare at me.

"Sure," l say, even more confused as he turns around and go to make the drink.

“Chell, what is going on?” Ali snaps at me at my side.

"I don't know."

"Have you been coming here?" she asks me and l turn to her.

"No, well-," I let my sentence trail and she looks at me curious.

"Chell, what is it?"

"Look, this guy showed up this afternoon to return my cell phone that he said l had left at his house, but I don't remember going over there?”

"Chell, what do you mean that you don't remember him?"

"I mean that it’s obvious that I was over there, l mean he had my cell phone, but~,” I stop as I look over and I see the blue eyes looking at me. "Oh god," the words slide out of my mouth as I look over at the man that was standing on my porch this morning staring at me. "That's him." l tell Ali as he looks over to where my eyes are leading her.

"Oh, Chell, he's hot.”

"I know, that's the problem, is that he is hot, and he knows who I am, but I have no idea who he is." I tell her and then the bartender comes back over with my drink in hand and sits it down in front of me then asks Ali what she will have. When I look back over to where the guy is sitting I see a blonde draped over him and them intently making out, but when my eyes fall over to him I watch his head move down to kiss her neck and his eyes look straight to me. I'm just as confused as his eyes look. I feel Ali's hand on my arm as she leads me out to the dance floor and our friends from high school come up around us. We graduated this past May, everyone else around me started college last month, but after my parents died I couldn't fathom going to school for this semester. I start to dance as my ex, Grayson, comes up and puts his arms around me, and for the first time since we broke up after graduation I let him. I let him lead me in the dance as he grinds his body into mine and we fall into a rhythm that has always seemed to be easy to find with us. After a few songs I tell him that I need to go to the restroom and as I exit the bathroom I feel hands on me and when I turn around its Grayson and he pushes me up against the wall.

"Chell, you don't want to keep me out of your life.” He whispers into my ear as his hand grasps tightly around my arm.

”I told you I couldn’t, not with everything going on in my life." I tell him trying to move away but he pushes against my shoulders holding me back against the wall.

"No, Chell, you're going to let me take you back." He demands pushing me further into the wall.

"I don't want you." I try telling him but he still doesn't let me move.

”Chell, I'm not going to let you go until you tell me that we are going to get back together. I’m sorry for what happened I really am.”

"|t’s not your fault." I tell him and he looks at me confused. "Please let me go.”

I’m not letting you go until you tell me that you forgive me and that we are going to get back together.” He is leaning in close to my face and everyone that is passing us has no idea what he is saying to me, at least I don't think that they can. I feel his hands leave my body and as I look up to Grayson I gasp.

”Look, she asked for you to let her go, and you should have listened.” Those blue eyes are so intense when he looks to Grayson; it's almost as if he knows him. When he lets Grayson go he looks to me and it's just the two of us in the hallways. When he looks down to me he smiles as I just stand dumbfounded looking at him. "Was that Grayson?" he asks me and I can't help but let my mouth drop open. I can't manage to say anything so I just nod my head. “The fucking nerve he has even being in the same room as you after what happened.” But I look up to him even more confused. ”Chell, are you alright?” he asks me and I contemplate what I should say.

"Who- Who are you?" I ask him and he stares at me as if I have just hurt his feelings.

”Chell, it's me Miles.”

”I don't know a Miles.” I tell him as I turn to walk away.

"Yes, you do.” He tells me sounding just as confused as I am. "You were over at my house last night after we left here." He tells me walking after me, "Shit I know that you weren’t that drunk. I drove you home because you don't drive.” And I stop, not many people know that about me.

"What happened last night?” I say as I look at him, “Did we sleep together?”

"No,” he laughs, ”You’re not really my type.” He tells me and I'm sure that my face falls, because he instantly starts backtracking. “No, it's not like that. You’re beautiful it's just you're too intelligent for me; you know I tend to go for the dumb girls. Plus you're a little too wild for me. "

“Fuck you, you don't know me." I tell him pissed off that he called me too wild; little does he know that I don't do a fucking thing. I'm a loser, a loner, a geek really. I look back at him and see the hurt in his eyes.

”Chell, we have been hanging out all summer."

"No, we haven’t."

”Yes, Chell, we have.” He smiles at me, "but you’re a little too wild for even me sometimes."

"You have me mistaken for someone else.” I tell him and walk away back to our table.

When I get back over to the table Ali is looking to me confused again. "We're you just talking to the guy that showed up at your house today?” she asks me.

“Yeah,”

“Why?”

Because he just told me that we have been hanging out all summer, but he must have me mistaken for someone else.” I feel as if I'm going crazy I don’t want to tell her about Grayson.

"If you say so,” She looks upset with me and walks away as if she doesn't believe me, but I would remember hanging out with him.

“Ali, why are you mad at me?” I ask her following after her.

”Look Chell, you haven't really been hanging out with anyone since graduation, and you won't tell anyone why, you just dropped off and then once your parents died you stopped talking to anyone altogether. I know that you are going through a lot with them, but you have to remember that we are here to help you as well, but now you tell me that you have been hanging out with some guy that none of us know all summer."

“No I haven't, he has to have me mistaken with someone else.” I tell her.

"With the same name? I doubt that." She says slyly. '

“Look Ali, I would remember hanging out with him. I mean look at him. I would remember that." I tell her joking but she just looks back at me and rolls her eyes not believing me or enjoying my joke and she walks away from me again. I walk back up to the bar and ask the bartender for another drink and three shots, taking one before I walk away and as I go to take the second one I feel a presence beside me.

”Chell, don't you think that you should slow down?” I hear the voice from earlier at my side.

"Don't you think you should go bother someone that you actually know?” I snap at him.

"But you do know who I am.” He tells me as I toss the second shot and turn looking to him.

No, I don't." I tell him before walking away.