Autonomy

And Lastly here is a teaser from my current project... Autonomy... which is subjected to change.

Chapter one

It’s still dark out when I rise from the night of sleep. I know that no one else will be awake and I grab on the first pair of pants that I can find. I throw a shirt over my head and run to the bathroom I wash my face; not knowing the next time I will feel water on my face. I don’t have a lot of time to get ready. It will be time for rec check- as I have started to think of it- in 2 hours I need to leave if I am going to make it anywhere. I grab my bag from the floor that it sits on and walk into the kitchen I grab snacks, something quick to eat without stopping and a couple bottles of water. I throw them into the bag and I look into the mirror one last time. My red hair; almost too red to seem real. My bright green eyes and my non-freckled porcelain skin. I see the bags under my eyes from the nightmares that I have been having the past couple of nights. I’m sorry mom I whisper to myself feeling like I am betraying her. But it’s not her I am running from… it’s the Autonomy. I cannot be here any longer in their grasps. I walk into my mother’s room that hasn’t been occupied in days and pull open her jewelry box. I rummage through it but cannot find anything that I want to keep. I yank open her sock drawer and find a white box. I remember seeing it a few times. I lift the lid and look inside to see a beaded necklace. It’s beautiful and looks fragile and old. I know that she has had it since she was a child. There’s a loop for your neck and where it connects the necklace keeps going but only with one strand then at the end there’s a cross with a man on it. I do not know what this is, but I know that she never wanted to lose it. She kept it hidden so that they wouldn’t find it. I push it into my pocket as I grab one of the oversized black hoodies and walk out the front door. I watch over my shoulder at the empty street, but I keep my head down as I pass the cameras that hang over top of the city. I walk to where I had seen the whole in the chain linked fence and where there are not any guards. I pick up a rock throwing it up to the light pole that stands over the camera… If there isn’t any light to show me escape they will just be looking for me to arrest for destruction, but it’s too early for them to be paying this much attention to a camera, where no one goes to this early in the morning. I throw one more rock knocking out the light on the opposite side of the street I wait for a moment in the darkness and listen to see if any guards are coming after me. This city is so quiet at this time of the morning and I run as fast as I can to the hole in the fence. I force myself to go through it and then I am out. I’m out of the city for good. Until I am finally free. I run for a few feet and then I turn back around. I hear the shouting coming out of the speakers in the city which means that it is time for everyone to wake up… Everyone to wake up, but still two hours before everyone has to check in… I begin to run.

I can hear my footsteps pounding on the ground. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, and all I can see around me is the trees. The shouting behind me stopped hours ago, but I know that if I stop my feet from moving that they will catch up. The trees fly past me as I continue to will my legs to go forward. I know that I have been running for hours I can feel my muscles in my legs pleading with me to stop, but I push forward I have to get as far away from the city as possible. They will know before too long that I left. They will figure that out. I begin to slow down and look around. I am in the jungle. The trees have grown up so much around the city that you can’t see to the next town. I remember as a small child looking from the top of one of the buildings that my mother would take me up to and we could see for miles, now you can only see forest. My heart aches as I think of her and I slow to a walk. I take deep breaths but cannot seem to catch my breath. It has been dark for hours, I started at dawn. I slow my pace and come to a stop I have to be far enough away from them to be able to walk.I catch my breath and look around me. I’m not sure where I am or if I’m even still in Georgia. I kneel over so that I can catch my breath and sit down on the ground. I slip into a shallow sleep for a little bit and when I open my eyes again I see that dawn is breaking once again. I have now been free from control for an entire day. I get up and start walking again.

“Stop” I hear the shout come from behind me and then I hear the slight click of the hammer on the gun being pulled back. I go ridged I know that they have found me “What’s your name? Where are you from? What are you doing out here all alone?”

“My name is Cole, I’m from Atlanta, look I don’t have anything on me to hurt you with.” I say knowing that he has a gun pointed at my head; I don’t blame him for this. The grass is surrounding me almost up to my waist I know why it was easy for them to hide from me. I can conjure up a memory when everything was still relatively flat.

“Atlanta?” he asks

“That’s where one of the regiments are.” A new voice says to him.

“I know” he shouts back to the other man “You’re apart of them?” He directs into my direction.

“No” I shriek

“Then why were you in Atlanta?” I now feel the barrel press against to the back of my head.

“Well..” I mutter pulling up the courage to tell them “I was a part of them” I admit and I’m not sure if it is a good idea or not “But I left.”

“Why, are you a spy for them? Out here to see what we are up to.” The second voice says.

“No” I gasp as I turn around seeing his face; his deep blue eyes seer into me. “I left because I realized that they are not right. That they had me brainwashed.” I left because they killed my mother; I left because I dreamt of you… I want to say, but he won’t understand, they would think that I was crazy. I think to the dreams… about seeing these blue eyes up close to my face… closer than anyone had ever been to me in my life. He has been in my dreams since I was a child.

“I’m sorry” I hear the first voice say “but we don’t have any other choice. We have to do this”

“Don’t apologies.” I say “If you don’t do it. I’m sure they are going to be out looking for me and kill me by tomorrow morning.” I see his eyes search mine, and in that moment I wonder if he has had the same dreams. I sigh as he pushes the gun barrel closer to my head and I suck in all the air that my lungs can fill knowing that any second I will hear the shot go off before it enters my skull, if I have to die I’m glad that his face and those eyes are the last image I will ever see. Although, I have just met him, with the dreams that I have had I feel like I have known him my whole life. I take a deep breath and I hear him exhale as well. I have seen this enough times to know that this is what people do right before they pull the trigger. I close my eyes.

The mastermind

Here's a second teaser of the day...

from my second novel Your Own Disaster...

I heard footsteps behind me as I sharply turn the corner and begin to pass the back entrance of the bar when I slammed into a hard body in front of me.

“August, my love” my knees give out yet again as I heard the accent come over me as he embraces me leaning down to whisper in my ear “Play along… there is a man following behind you” he silently told me. Then he raised his voice and began to speak again “I was waiting for you and I couldn’t find you so I came out here to look for you and here you are.” he smiled; oh, that smile.

“Yes” I stammered over my words “I just came out the front to get some air.” I see Lucas watch the guy from the corner of his eyes.

“He’s gone.” He told me releasing his grip around my body. As soon as he let go I instantly wished for his arms to be back around my body. I see his eyes intensely stare at me. “Why are you out here so late walking by yourself?” he questioned me.

“Alright, dad, if you must know I was on my way home.”

“This late, by yourself?”

“Yes, I never planned on staying this late to begin with.”

“Alright I see.” He paused looking back to the door again “Well, let me take you home.” He suggested.

“No, thank you. I am fine walking.” I retorted to him.

“Alright then, let me walk you home.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I snapped at him.

“Well, then I’m going to walk behind you until you get home. Then once you get inside your home safe I will walk back.”

“If that’s what you want to do” I told him. He just smiled his crooked smile at me.

“It is”

I turned around in a huff and started to storm off in the direction of my apartment. I noticed that he stayed about 6 paces behind me at all times.

“Natural or not?” he asked me.

“What?” I snapped back

“I’m sorry” he laughed “The hair, it’s extremely bright red I’ve never seen a color that bright, so I have to ask.”

“Oh, it’s fake, but I’ve been dying it for so long that no one remembers what my natural color is.” I admit to him causing him to laugh out.

“Why red? I mean most girls go for blonde” that’s the first comment that made my feet stop and turn around to face him causing him to come closer to me than he had intended to be.

“Because I’m not like most girls” I said pointing a finger to his face. “Plus, it’s the most unnatural, natural color. It’s my rebellion against the cliché of what you are supposed to do as an adult.” He looked to me with almost a confused look on his face, and I turned back around to continue my course toward my home.

“Why don’t you want to become famous isn’t that every singers ambition?” I asked him a few moments later, him still 6 paces behind me.

“Probably most I guess. Fame is just something that I have never been worried about. I mean I have a great day job and I do this because I want to and sure it helps with the bills. How did you know that anyways?”

“Will and I went to high school together, we haven’t really talked in years but he wanted me to come out to this and when he stopped to ask me what I thought of them I asked about your band because I had never heard of you guys.”

“Will from the band that went on before us?”

“Yea”

“How old are you?” he asked me

“Why is that relevant to this situation?” I questioned him

“Just trying to make conversation here I will go first. I am 26… now your turn.”

“25” I told him rolling my eyes at him.

“So I have to ask why didn’t Will make sure you got home safe?” he questioned me, I thought that I heard a slight bit of sarcasm in his voice when he said his name

“I told you we aren’t close”

“So why did he invite you out here if he isn’t interested or close to you?”

“Because I work for the paper doing a music column.”

“That’s you? I’ve read it a few times. It’s really good.”

“Thank you” I looked over and realized that he had managed to catch up and is walking right next to me as I come to stop looking up to my apartment. “Well this is me.” I told him.

“Well, August, it has been a pleasure saving your life now twice since I have met you.”

“Thank you for those by the way.” I smiled to him, and caught his eyes making eye contact. Before I realized what exactly was happening I felt him throw his arms around me; me following his lead, and his mouth upon mine and my forceful kiss in his return. I pulled my key from my pocket and opened the door to the complex pulling him inside with me. We made it up to my apartment, I pulled him inside with me, and he pulled away from me for a moment…

“This is not what I had intended when I offered to walk you home” my knees went weak again and he caught me.

“Shut up” I simply said to him causing him to laugh and I felt his lips crash to mine again. He lifted me off from my toes and I wrapped my legs around his body bringing him in closer to me and felt my butt rest on the kitchen counter and I realized that he wasn’t sure where to go.

“Down the hall on the left” I whispered in his ear and thought for a moment that I felt his body shiver as I said it. I felt him pick me up once again and pull me into my bedroom. I felt my head touch the bed followed by the rest of my body and felt the warmth, muscle on top of me. I wanted to see what he held underneath the black shirt that covered the remaining tattoos on his arms. I grabbed at the bottom of the shirt, lifting it over his head, and gasping at the tattooed covered torso.

“Oh, fuck me” I shouted out. Realizing that I had just shouted this out loud I looked to him and he had a questionable smirk on his face. “The tattoos” I managed to mutter out, and watched him nod telling me that he understood. He then grabbed the shirt tails of my shirt revealing the pale skin underneath my long sleeve shirt. He pointed at my left ribcage and my right hip pointing out my own tattoos.

“Nice” he said.

“Thanks… there’s more.” I responded to him pulling his mouth back to mine.

I woke up the next morning feeling like shit. I wasn’t sure how many drinks I had actually had and for some unknown reason whenever I got drunk I woke up ungodly early. The first thing I noticed when I awoke was that I was naked, but I was in my bed… which I had done alone before. It wasn’t until I rolled over and saw Lucas lying next to me did I get the flooding thoughts of last night’s escapades.

I got ready for work as quietly as possible and when I was finished I sat down in my chair I had in my bedroom which faced the bed. I just looked at him for 10 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I walked to the spare room which also was used as an office and grabbed the stack of post-it notes out of the drawer with a sharpie and walked back into my bedroom scribbling down

Lucas-

I had to go ahead and leave for an early meeting. Feel free to grab anything to eat from the kitchen if you could just lock the door on your way out. Thanks

-A-

I looked him over wondering where would be the best place to leave this. Bathroom… what if he doesn’t go in? Nightstand… what if he doesn’t see it? Pillow… what if he rolls onto it? Fuck it I thought as I reached across the bed and slapped it gently onto his forehead. Well hopefully it won’t get lost now. He makes a sound and I instantly freeze not sure if I am going to be able to make it out of this house without him waking up and finding me in the act of leaving. I slowly turn around completely expecting to find him looking at me. When I look over my shoulder I see that he is still asleep though. I raced for the front door

I know it’s an awful thing to do when you feel the need to explain yourself but I left with that pulling out my phone as I descended the stairs to call Emma feeling that I was doing a walk of shame out of my own apartment.

“Hey Auggie” she said as she answers “It’s it still really early I figured you would be dragging ass since you went to that concert last night.”

“Em, can you meet me at the diner?”

“Oh no, what did you do?”

The struggling author

I have decided to put up some teasers for my novels that I have written...

Here is a teaser from Hate me...

For some reason at that moment I get distracted and see a couple to the right hand side of the room sit down. The woman is beautiful… she is about five foot seven, long blonde hair, bright green eyes, and a huge rack… I look down at myself in the dress I had picked out for the evening and sighed my chest would never look as good in anything as hers does in that stupid dress. Then the man that is with her gets up and walks to the bathroom… Mark is still talking about whatever he is saying as I am trying to pay attention I see the man from the table with the beautiful blonde walk out of the bathroom… SAM I shout in my head… how did I not know it was him… My arm falls from its position and knocks over the glass of water on the table. Shit. Mark slides his chair back and the waiter runs over and brings me a new water and a towel to clean up my mess.. I sit there embarrassed… and I move over seats so that my back is to their table saying that my chair has gotten wet from the water. The waiter looks to me confused and I just shake my head. I can’t believe Sam is here with her.

“You know I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.” I say…. I just couldn’t stand to see him here with her. I was worried that for a second that Mark was going to be upset with me… “I’m sorry” I half-heartedly say...

“It’s alright…” as he says this our food came to the table… “Actually I’m sorry to do this but the lady isn’t feeling well and we really need to get going could you bring over a couple of boxes so we could take it with us and bring the check”

“Right away” the waiter responds and walks back… we pay for the check and start to leave... when we leave we have to walk past the table… and Mark is in front of me pulling me along behind him…

“Shit” I remark as a drop my purse right before the exit… and my phone falls out and behind me… I am forced to turn around and bend over to get it… As I’m standing up I glance up and find Sam’s eyes on me. I see him move to get up from his chair and big breasts move her hand to his... he looks down at her for a moment but by the time that he looks back up I will already be out the door because I cannot stand to look at him… all that talk of finding a different assignment and he’s having dinner with big breasts… ugh I huffed off in frustration… before I left I saw a look of frustration in Sam’s eyes… we get back to the car and again Mark opens my door for me and I smile again…

“Look, I’m sorry I’m just not feeling so well”                                                                             

“I understand Trish. It’s not a problem” he was so nice about it… Then my phone buzzed

Sam: Looks it’s not what you think it is…

I had already decided that I wasn’t having this conversation. So I didn’t respond… Next thing I know we are back at my apartment and my phone buzzes again

Sam: Let me explain

I still had planned on not having this conversation… I get out of the car and so did Mark he walks me to the front door of my building where I thought he was going to turn around and walk back to his car and leave when he said

“Can I come to make sure you make it alright to your house?”

“Yea, that’s fine… look I feel bad about dinner why don’t you come up and have dinner that we ordered”

“I would like that” he smiles and walks through the door with me… I started to head for the stairs and he looked at me strange and points to the elevator and questions me...

“Elevators freak me out” he chuckles at my answer “don’t laugh… there’s many things that could happen… they could break and we could die in there” I tell him and he starts laughing harder as we ascend the stairs up to my apartment…

“I think your being a little dramatic”

“I told you before complicated” I point to myself trying to make him understand that it wasn’t just my life that was complicated but it was also me…

“Alright I agree you warned me ahead of time” I feel my phone buzz again as we make it to the entrance to my floor…

Sam: Will you please talk to me I huff not wanting to have this conversation

Me: No

Sam: Why

Me: Because I am on my date and I don’t want to have this conversation right now

“Sorry” I look say to Mark

“Over protective friend?” he asks

“Yea”

“What does he want?” he asks me

“Nothing just seeing how the date is going”

“Oh he knows?” he pauses. “Why do you seem aggravated then?”

“Cause he won’t leave me alone.” I laugh as I unlock my door, and we walk in the apartment…

“Wow… this is an incredibly place you have here. WOAH… what’s with all the locks?”

“Hey don’t criticize my apartment…” I laugh… “I know it’s a little ridiculous but this is how I got it”

“Trish… how do you afford all this?” he asks me.

“I told you rich aunt…”

“Do your parent’s help out..?”

“Um… yea kinda” I respond... ugh… I don’t want to make up stories right now… my brain is already in overload…

“Trish I have to ask… are you close to your parents? I ask because I’ve heard you mention your aunt more than your parents” he asks

“Well we used to be… but I don’t talk to them anymore” definitely trying to avoid lying “I moved here in a way to get away from them” technically it’s not a complete lie.

“That’s awful to hear… ready to eat?” he asks… yes and he breaks out the to-go food that we had just gotten from the restaurant.

“Do you want a beer or some wine to go with it?” I ask him…

“Want to spilt a bottle of wine?” he asks.

“Sure” I agree... we sit down and start  to eat… it feels natural to talk to him in such a calm place knowing that I wouldn’t see Sam or Big Breasts… we had a great time eating our food not having to be fancy and proper in the safety of my own home… he was funny and charming… He made me laugh and made me forget for a moment or two that Sam who has always implied that if things were different he would be with me and watch out for me… but he sure doesn’t waste any time to go off to dinner with big breasts but I guess I couldn’t be too upset because here I was doing the same thing.