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First Chapter to Beautifully Chaotic

Here is the first chapter as I promised.

It is a rough version and still up for edits and changes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 26“ 2012

It happened again. The blackouts are getting worse, and more frequent. I thought at first that it was just because that I was so stressed. I mean I don’t remember them happening until after it happened. But now I am afraid. Now I am scared that it’s something that has made itself into a permanent fixture into my life. I lose time; hours sometimes days, and when I wake I am always in my bed as if l have been sleeping the whole time. Hell I could be sleeping the whole time, but that doesn’t explain the marks, it doesn't explain the cuts and bruises. It doesn't explain my friends being pissed at me when I call them. It doesn't explain the hangovers I get sometimes and the house being trashed when I wake up at times. It doesn't explain the random beds or the random faces that I've woken up to. And it doesn't explain this...

I wake up groggy to a knock on my door. I pull myself out of bed, realizing that I am naked and I grab a

few clothes off of the floor and put them on and begrudgingly walk to the front door. I see a man standing through the window with his back to me and I wonder if I should open the door for him. My neighbors are pretty close on either side of me and it's in the middle of the day. I glance over to the clock realizing that I have no idea what time it is and see that it reads 2:30. God, I slept most of the day away. What day is it anyways? When he hears me open the door he turns around and smiles at me and I can't help but gasp. My god, his hair is just long enough to run your hands in, and his tan skin contrasts his blue eyes. I see the torn up jeans that sit low on his hips low enough that I'm sure the tight black T-shirt, that shows off his sculpted arms, would show the small strip of hair if he stretched right now... I have to stop thinking about this. I can't help but let my eyes rake over his toned body, and then back up it again. His smile widens as he looks to me. I know that he has caught me checking him out and then his eyes turn from excitement to wonderment.

"Chell,” he smiles at me and I am stunned, how does he know my name? “I see that you made it home   last night." And I look to him confused again, "Well, uh,” he stumbles over his words seeing that I have no idea what he is talking about. "You left this at my house last night.” He says as he reaches over to me and hands me my phone, "I thought that you might need it.” and he turns around, quickly and begins to walk in the opposite direction towards his car. I don’t know what to say so l just let him walk away. I don't stop him and I don’t want to ask what happened last night, why I was at his house, or who is he? I don't want to know how I got to his house or even how I forgotten my phone, or how he knew where I lived. I don’t know anything about this guy, but yet here he seems to know more about me than most people do.

 I let myself forget about the man, who l realize that I never got his name, and get on with my day. l leave my house and go to the store, being as I am now living all alone in this house I need to start picking up the slack. Putting the groceries away my phone rings.

 "Hey, Ali,” l almost yell into the receiver.

"Hey, look do you want to go out tonight?” she asks me, it has been months since I have been out with her, not since before my parents died.

"Alright," I finally tell her.

”Yay, well we are going to Aqua, we haven't been able to make it there since it opened two months ago. Be ready by nine and l will come and get you."

”Sounds good.”

At nine, I'm not ready; in fact I'm sitting in my bedroom with the door to my closet open and just staring inside. ”Chell,” I hear Ali scream through the front door, we have been friends for so long that she just walks into my house. “Where are you?"

"Back here.” I say quieter, and watch as the rounds the corner to my bedroom.

“What are you doing? You're not even dressed." I look down and smile at myself sitting in my underwear.

“It’s been too long; I don't know what to wear." She smiles a sad smile and then walks into my closet grabs a few hangers and then walks back out.

"Wear that. You will look great, now hurry up.” I change and walk out of my bedroom moments later.

“You look great, now hurry up.” She says as I grab my purse and make sure that my I.D. is inside.

The drive to Aqua is quick and within minutes we are there. We walk up to the line and immediately the bouncer smiles and walks over. ”Chell, you can go ahead and go inside." l look to him confused, but I don’t ask any questions. We walk inside and Ali looks at me

"What was that about?” and l just shrug my shoulders. ”Chell, how does he know you?”

 "I don't know.” I say louder than I mean to and she looks at me like I hurt her.

“What do you mean you don't know?" she asks me again.

”Ali, I don't know okay?" as we walk up to the bar and I reach into my wallet to grab out my I.D. as the bartender walks over to me and smiles.

"CheII, the usual?" he asks and I see Ali glare at me.

"Sure," l say, even more confused as he turns around and go to make the drink.

“Chell, what is going on?” Ali snaps at me at my side.

"I don't know."

"Have you been coming here?" she asks me and l turn to her.

"No, well-," I let my sentence trail and she looks at me curious.

"Chell, what is it?"

"Look, this guy showed up this afternoon to return my cell phone that he said l had left at his house, but I don't remember going over there?”

"Chell, what do you mean that you don't remember him?"

"I mean that it’s obvious that I was over there, l mean he had my cell phone, but~,” I stop as I look over and I see the blue eyes looking at me. "Oh god," the words slide out of my mouth as I look over at the man that was standing on my porch this morning staring at me. "That's him." l tell Ali as he looks over to where my eyes are leading her.

"Oh, Chell, he's hot.”

"I know, that's the problem, is that he is hot, and he knows who I am, but I have no idea who he is." I tell her and then the bartender comes back over with my drink in hand and sits it down in front of me then asks Ali what she will have. When I look back over to where the guy is sitting I see a blonde draped over him and them intently making out, but when my eyes fall over to him I watch his head move down to kiss her neck and his eyes look straight to me. I'm just as confused as his eyes look. I feel Ali's hand on my arm as she leads me out to the dance floor and our friends from high school come up around us. We graduated this past May, everyone else around me started college last month, but after my parents died I couldn't fathom going to school for this semester. I start to dance as my ex, Grayson, comes up and puts his arms around me, and for the first time since we broke up after graduation I let him. I let him lead me in the dance as he grinds his body into mine and we fall into a rhythm that has always seemed to be easy to find with us. After a few songs I tell him that I need to go to the restroom and as I exit the bathroom I feel hands on me and when I turn around its Grayson and he pushes me up against the wall.

"Chell, you don't want to keep me out of your life.” He whispers into my ear as his hand grasps tightly around my arm.

”I told you I couldn’t, not with everything going on in my life." I tell him trying to move away but he pushes against my shoulders holding me back against the wall.

"No, Chell, you're going to let me take you back." He demands pushing me further into the wall.

"I don't want you." I try telling him but he still doesn't let me move.

”Chell, I'm not going to let you go until you tell me that we are going to get back together. I’m sorry for what happened I really am.”

"|t’s not your fault." I tell him and he looks at me confused. "Please let me go.”

I’m not letting you go until you tell me that you forgive me and that we are going to get back together.” He is leaning in close to my face and everyone that is passing us has no idea what he is saying to me, at least I don't think that they can. I feel his hands leave my body and as I look up to Grayson I gasp.

”Look, she asked for you to let her go, and you should have listened.” Those blue eyes are so intense when he looks to Grayson; it's almost as if he knows him. When he lets Grayson go he looks to me and it's just the two of us in the hallways. When he looks down to me he smiles as I just stand dumbfounded looking at him. "Was that Grayson?" he asks me and I can't help but let my mouth drop open. I can't manage to say anything so I just nod my head. “The fucking nerve he has even being in the same room as you after what happened.” But I look up to him even more confused. ”Chell, are you alright?” he asks me and I contemplate what I should say.

"Who- Who are you?" I ask him and he stares at me as if I have just hurt his feelings.

”Chell, it's me Miles.”

”I don't know a Miles.” I tell him as I turn to walk away.

"Yes, you do.” He tells me sounding just as confused as I am. "You were over at my house last night after we left here." He tells me walking after me, "Shit I know that you weren’t that drunk. I drove you home because you don't drive.” And I stop, not many people know that about me.

"What happened last night?” I say as I look at him, “Did we sleep together?”

"No,” he laughs, ”You’re not really my type.” He tells me and I'm sure that my face falls, because he instantly starts backtracking. “No, it's not like that. You’re beautiful it's just you're too intelligent for me; you know I tend to go for the dumb girls. Plus you're a little too wild for me. "

“Fuck you, you don't know me." I tell him pissed off that he called me too wild; little does he know that I don't do a fucking thing. I'm a loser, a loner, a geek really. I look back at him and see the hurt in his eyes.

”Chell, we have been hanging out all summer."

"No, we haven’t."

”Yes, Chell, we have.” He smiles at me, "but you’re a little too wild for even me sometimes."

"You have me mistaken for someone else.” I tell him and walk away back to our table.

When I get back over to the table Ali is looking to me confused again. "We're you just talking to the guy that showed up at your house today?” she asks me.

“Yeah,”

“Why?”

Because he just told me that we have been hanging out all summer, but he must have me mistaken for someone else.” I feel as if I'm going crazy I don’t want to tell her about Grayson.

"If you say so,” She looks upset with me and walks away as if she doesn't believe me, but I would remember hanging out with him.

“Ali, why are you mad at me?” I ask her following after her.

”Look Chell, you haven't really been hanging out with anyone since graduation, and you won't tell anyone why, you just dropped off and then once your parents died you stopped talking to anyone altogether. I know that you are going through a lot with them, but you have to remember that we are here to help you as well, but now you tell me that you have been hanging out with some guy that none of us know all summer."

“No I haven't, he has to have me mistaken with someone else.” I tell her.

"With the same name? I doubt that." She says slyly. '

“Look Ali, I would remember hanging out with him. I mean look at him. I would remember that." I tell her joking but she just looks back at me and rolls her eyes not believing me or enjoying my joke and she walks away from me again. I walk back up to the bar and ask the bartender for another drink and three shots, taking one before I walk away and as I go to take the second one I feel a presence beside me.

”Chell, don't you think that you should slow down?” I hear the voice from earlier at my side.

"Don't you think you should go bother someone that you actually know?” I snap at him.

"But you do know who I am.” He tells me as I toss the second shot and turn looking to him.

No, I don't." I tell him before walking away.

Beautifully Chaotic Teaser #1

Here is my first teaser for my next story. I promised it to you guys a few days ago...
Remember that this is all subject to change.
It's the first page and a half of the story and I hope that you guys enjoy! 

October 26^th 2012

It happened again. The blackouts are getting worse, and more frequent. I thought at first that it was just because that I was so stressed. I mean I don’t remember them happening  until after it happened. But now I am afraid.  Now I am scared that it’s something that has made itself into a permanent fixture into my life.  I lose time; hours sometimes days, and when I wake I am always in my bed as if I have been sleeping the whole time. Hell I could be sleeping the whole time, but that doesn’t explain the marks, it doesn’t explain the cuts and bruises. It doesn’t explain my friends being pissed at me when I call them. It doesn’t explain the hang overs I get sometimes and the house being trashed when I wake up at times. It doesn’t explain the random beds or the random faces that I’ve woken up to. And it doesn’t explain this…

I wake up groggy to a knock on my door. I pull myself out of bed, realizing that I am naked and I grab a few clothes off of the floor and put them on and begrudgingly walk to the front door. I see a man standing through the window with his back to me and I wonder if I should open the door for him. My neighbors are pretty close on either side of me and it’s in the middle of the day. I glance over to the clock realizing that I have no idea what time it is and see that it reads 2:30. God, I slept most of the day away. What day is it anyways? When he hears me open the door he turns around and smiles at me and I can’t help but gasp. My god, his hair is just long enough to run your hands in, and his tan skin contrasts his blue eyes. I see the torn up jeans that sit low on his hips low enough that I’m sure the tight black T-shirt, that shows off his sculpted arms, would show the small strip of hair if he stretched right now… I have to stop thinking about this.  I can’t help but let my eyes rake over his toned body, and then back up it again. His smile widens as he looks to me. I know that he has caught me checking him out and then his eyes turn from excitement to wonderment.

“Chell,” he smiles at me and I am stunned, how does he know my name? “I see that you made it home last night.” And I look to him confused again, “Well, uh,” he stumbles over his words seeing that I have no idea what he is talking about. “You left this at my house last night.” He says as he reaches over to me and hands me my phone, “I thought that you might need it.” and he turns around, quickly and begins to walk in the opposite direction towards his car. I don’t know what to say so I just let him walk away. I don’t stop him and I don’t want to ask what happened last night, why I was at his house, or who is he? I don’t want to know how I got to his house or even how I forgotten my phone, or how he knew where I lived. I don’t know anything about this guy, but yet here he seems to know more about me than most people do. 

Yay! There you have it! A little taste to get your little beaks wet. I'm excited about all of it! Also, I believe that when I hit 1700 likes on my FACEBOOK PAGE I will post the rest of the "Chapter"! Also, don't forget to check out Up for the Chase on Amazon! 

I love you guys! Stay awesome and do something to make someone's day! 

-N

To seqeul or not to seqeul?

I have had some people ask me if I plan on making seqeuls, or spin offs on my stories.

Here's my answer...

I love reading seqeuls and I love reading series, but not all of my stories will have 2nd books because I am afraid of getting too caught up in the characters. I want to challenge myself and I want to create new worlds for people to get attached to and fall into not just leave one running.

But I know, I know people want more. So here is what I have been thinking with my most recent and my up coming projects... This is all as of what I have decided as of now. Depending on how things go over and I also change my mind quite often, but as of now...

Fated-                         
   Sophie had everything that she could imagine; a successful business, an attractive fiancé, and the apartment that anyone would kill over, but when her business fails and her life becomes a quick downward spiral and after the tragic events that causes her wedding to be canceled two weeks before it's time for her to walk down the aisle, she is forced to move to Miami and move in with her sister, Marsi, the doctor. 
One fated encounter at a restaurant bar brings Austin into her life. One look and she knows exactly what type of guy that he is, but for whatever reason she knows that she can trust him. 
Mar is everything that Sophie isn't; smart, levelheaded, successful, and the pride and joy of their parents. She takes in Sophie and begins helping her through this difficult situations and getting a friend of hers, who happens to be a lawyer take her case, and who happens to be Austin. He is everything that Sophie doesn't need and do to his past Mar makes her off limits to him, but there's something about her that he can't resist, and as their friendship blossoms can they really stay away from one another?
A story about the twists of life, following your dreams, and a little bit of rock and roll.
       A Fine Line-.      
              Jake and Marsi's story.
                 There is a fine line between love and hate!
               
       I'm also considering writing a third, which may possibly be a novella. It just depends on how it            turns out.
              Will mostly be for Austin's POV. (Have yet to start writing this, but it's working in my head)





Up for the Chase-        
 Six years, that’s how long it has been since Ariana and Chase have seen one another. Both broken and looking for themselves they set out on a spur of the moment cross-country adventure. They find who they are, find happiness, and even though neither one of them want it; they find love, but when Chase leaves her in California he crushes her heart. 
Now he’s determined to find her, determined to win her back, but how is he going to react when he finds out that he has had a daughter this whole time? And how can Ariana learn to trust him again after her hurt her so much?   
     Stand alone... for now (Never say never right?)





Beautifully Chaotic-    
  A story of hurt, loss, and the way that the mind copes with problems... Chell figures that the reason   why she keeps losing time is because of her constant drinking and drug use since her parents died and since she suddenly broke up with her boyfriend, Grayson. That is until a gorgeous man shows up at her door with her cell phone in hand. How could she not remember leaving it at his house? How could she forgot someone how looked lie him? When Miles starts defending her against Grayson, knowing more about her and her life than she can even rememebr she's not sure what exactly is going on and how her and Miles have become so close. How can she forgot someone who she seems to spend so much time with?


       I am considering a seqeul for this one, but nothing is definite yet!






Surviving the Storm-  
   The hurricane that has ransacked the quint town that Kenz has taken shelter in seems like a perfect analogy to her life. To get away from her abusive boyfriend Kenz leaves her hometown, her life, and everyone that she has ever known. She's been in the small town for a year now and likes to think of it as home. She loves her house, that is until the hurricane demolishes it.
Enters River, who is desperately trying to find survivors, find her days later, underneath ruble, hiding in her bathtub.
Their attraction starts right immediately, but there's one thing that's stopping them. Autumn is River's control-freak girlfriend. She doesn't really want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him either. And with Kenz's constant fear of knowing that her ex is looking for her will they ever be able to figure things out?   
     Stand Alone





Surprise Me-             
  Airports are something that I despise. Really I do. I don't even understand why. I don't hate flying, well not really. I have more of a phobia of falling; plummeting to my imminent death to me more specific. But sometimes we have to travel, and fly at that. A three hour layover... that's exactly what I wanted isn't it. To prolong my departure, giving me more time to think about it. More time to worry over my possible and probable death. 

I never thought in that airport I would meet Cullen Mathews, lead singer of the up and coming band Harbinger. I didn't for see me falling in love with him, and him with me. When I did fall for him I didn't think that it would take two years for us to end up together. 

But when I met Cullen I knew one thing. That he would ruin me.
         As of now I am considering a follow up for this one

Up for the Chase giveaway!!!

Starting tonight at midnight until the 12th I will be running a giveaway with 2 advanced copies of UFTC and a copy of Fated! Yay! go and share with all your lovelies!

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UFTC Cover!

Yay! Up for the Chase has a cover!! Woo Hoo!!

Up for the Chase teaser #1

Here you guys go!! Whoop Whoop!! Hope you all enjoy and this still has to be edited again!



I’mclosing the gap between my apartment and the bar, when I see the car again, butI make myself continued past it. I still haven’t figured out quite what I willdo. I let myself turn around only once as I see the flash of headlights come onand I am paralyzed standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I can’t just walkaway now I have to see if it’s him.
I hear theroar of the ignition and it is starting to trigger memories that l am not readyto remember.
I feel adrop of water slide down my nose and almost as instant as a scene from our pastemerges the bottom drops out of the sky and the sheets of rain fall down overme. We had been in New Orleans for a few days and decided to leave, it wasnice, we partied, I got way to drunk and ended up throwing up in the lobby ofthe hotel, he sighed and walked up to the desk clerk asking him if he couldhave some towels and maybe a mop to clean it up, but he needed to take me tobed first, He told me later that the clerk had agreed.
“Goodmorning, lush,” he shakes me awake.
“Ha ha,very funny,” I scoffed at him. I watched a grin spread onto his lips.
“Get up;we have to be out of the room in an hour.” I moaned until he mentionedbreakfast and some Advil.
The engineroared to life after we checked out and again we were on the road. We aretraveling on the 10 through Louisiana and there is nothing alongside the road.The light had died hours ago and Chase stopped along the side of the road.
“What areyou doing?” I shout at him as he jumps out of the car and takes off into an openfield.
“I need toget out of the car for a moment,” he laughed and continues to run through theopen field, and I decided to follow after him.
“Chase,come back to the car why don’t we just pull off and go to sleep.” I ask him.
“N0,” heshouts laughing at me as he continues to run. I sigh and begin to run towardshim, although I cannot see and I trip face planting into the mud of the field. Iknow that he was watching me because I feel hands on me as the first drop slidesdown from the sky. “Are you okay?” he asks, holding back a smile.
“What isso funny?” I ask,
“You arecovered in mud,” he tells me and I instantly start trying to wipe it off,“Stop, it’s adorable and you’re not doing anything to help it. Come on let’sfind a place to sleep and get refreshed.”
We found aHo ]o’s only a few minutes later and pulled into the parking lot as the rain isnow descending onto us, and we could hardly see the road in front of us. By thetime we have the keys and get the bags from the car we are both drenched as wefall into the dingy motel and start laughing.
“Well thedirt is off your face.” he smiles to me and I grin “I’m going to go get someice; you go get changed and dry off.” I smile and nod my head as I walk intothe bathroom and I turn on the shower. Taking off my pants I realize that Ihave forgotten all of my shower supplies on the other side of the door, and Itry to listen for the door shut, when I hear it I swing the door open and I amshocked as I see Chase standing in front of me. His eyes bulge out of his headwhen he looks to me standing in front of him in nothing but my T-shirt andpanties, and I can’t stop myself when he takes a quick step forward I do too;telling him that it is alright.
His lipscrush mine before I can think about what is happening, and he picks me upplacing his hands on my ass and moving into the bathroom, he sits me down onthe sink as we continue to kiss and I feel his need for me I pull at his shirtand he instantly pulls back.
“What didI do?” I ask him confused.
“Nothing,”he murmurs looking back up to me and smoothing out my hair, “Not like this.” Hetells me.
“Likewhat?” I ask.
“You are toospecial for it to be anything less than the most memorable.”
“Chase, I’mnot a virgin.” I admit to him.
“I know,but it still has to be perfect. You deserve for it to be perfect.” He tells meplacing a kiss back on my lips and then turning around and walking out of theroom, “Take a shower. I’m going to go stand in the rain for a little bit.” Ican’t help it but laugh as he leaves the room.
I see hiscar pulling out of the garage and I cannot force myself to look away. I have toknow if it’s him, I have to see his face. The nose of the old GTO comes intoview and my breathing stops as the window slide from behind the large cementwalls. I think that I am going to fall over when his perfectly sculpted facecomes into view but the rain is pounding so hard that I have to squint to beable to see him. As soon as our eyes meet I feel my legs pulling me in thedirection farthest away from him, and I don’t stop to look back and see if he’sfollowing me, but I think I hear his low husky voice call after me. When I openthe door to the bar I am drenched and I fall into the door landing hard on thefloor as everyone in the back turns to look at me.




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FREAK OUT FOR 1000 LIKES!

Freak out for 1000 likes


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Little bit of Fated

Small teaser since I'm planning on releasing it in less than 2 weeks!!! EEK!!!

Two hours later I am looking over at Blondie lying in my bed asleep having my own dilemma. Do I wake her up and make her leave, or let her sleep and wake up to an empty house. I would rather not come home to anything stolen or my car damaged again.

“Get up,” I tell her and she shoots up as I push on her shoulders, I know that she wasn’t sleeping.

“What?” She seems stunned.

“Get up; I’ve got to get ready to leave.” She scoffs at me and I motion for her to get a move on. “I have to leave in twenty minutes, get up and leave.” I watch as she moves over to the side of the bed, pulling the sheets with her and kneels trying to kiss me, but I turn my head away and she scoffs even louder.

“You’re an asshole.” She shouts at me as she finally gets up off of the bed.

“So I’ve heard. Now hurry up.”

500 like giveaway!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Snippet!!

GIVEAWAY!!!

So, I have decided that once I hit 500 likes on Facebook I'm going to be doing a giveaway...


YAY!!

What will I be giving away??
Well what else than an (advanced) e-book of Fated

And

Your Own Disaster

There may even be more to it as well, it ALL just depends!


Go, Like, Share!

<3

Fated Teaser #5

Subject to change!

That night Mar has a party at her house, celebrating… I’m not sure what. After a few bottles of Tequila are drowned I find myself outside of the house and my mind is wondering. Before I can make myself leave I realize where I am… only too late. I notice that I am standing in front of Austin’s back door banging on the door when the door is snatched open.

“What do you want?” he glares at me.

“You’re moving?” I ask him, it’s clear in my drunken voice that I am sad.

“Yes, but that’s not any of your business anymore.” He says using my own words against me.

“Why?”

“Because I can, Soph.” he stops cutting his eyes at me as they soften.

“Is it because of me, because you know I’m moving out of Mar’s house?” I say with a weighted heart. Apparently this night I am extremely nice.

“Where are you moving to?” he asks me, curious.

“In with Paige,” I press my lips into a hard line.

“I’m moving to New York.” I gasp.

“Why?” I want to cry.

“Because my dad wants a firm there and he is sending me to oversee it.” I lunge at him smashing my lips to his and he gasps, “Soph, you’re drunk.” But I don’t let him stop, I press them harder into him, pulling my body in to his, and he finally gives in as he wraps his muscular arms around my small frame.

With one motion he picks me up and places my ass on the counter in the kitchen and presses his body into mine, he knows as well as I do that this will be something that will never happen again, only this time each of us can enjoy it and remember it just the way that it is meant to be.

I watch his face as he kisses down my neck and then picks me back up carrying me up the stairs to his room. I feel my back push into the mattress and his bodyweight over me and he lips trail my body one last time.

“Austin, wait. This-,” I trail off not wanting to say the last words.

“I know, it ends here, tonight.”

He says right before he pulls at my dress.

“Let’s make this last all night.” He smiles at me and I have to laugh at his Tom Petty reference.

He slows his pace as he looks up to my eyes. “Sophie, what happened here?” he asks as I look down to my arms.

“That’s what happened in Boston.” And his eyes fall as he lets his mouth linger over the handprints on my arms and he kisses them. He brings his face back up to my eyes as he kisses me again and lets his hands dip in under my the hem of my dress and slides his hand between my thighs. I can’t help but moan when he rubs the pad of his thumb against me. He smiles as I turn him onto his back and push him against the bed knelling above him. I slide the sweatpants down to his ankles and take him into my hand as I being to gentle massage him, he moans out as he pulls my head up to meet his face. He tugs at my dress until it is lying on the floor next to the bed. I pull my face away from his and let my head fall, positioning myself just right to take him into my mouth. He gasps and I feel him grab a hold of the sheets. I figure if this is going to be the last night, I will give him something amazing to remember me by. I run my tongue up his length and I am lifted up and put underneath him.

“Did you not like it?” I ask him for some reason ashamed of what I was doing, that I was doing it poorly.

“Oh, god no, baby. But if this is the last time I want to remember being able to make love to you.” he tells me as he reaches around my back and unclips my bra. Trailing kisses down my chest until he takes it in his mouth and flicks the nipple with his tongue. He slides his hand down underneath my panties and begin to rub me once more; I can’t help myself as I wrap my hands around him and begin to rub.

“Oh, Soph, I can’t take that. I’m trying to make this good for you and if you keep doing that I won’t be able to last.” He says as he pulls away and then reaches down nearly ripping off my panties. He positions himself between my knees as he leans over me and kisses my mouth once, twice, three times until we are making out again and I feel him slide into me. I open my eyes looking up to him as he is looking back down to me. As much as I don’t want to I love this man.

He doesn’t rush it, but he takes his time, and his rhythm is slow as he moves in and out with each motion making sure I am enjoying myself as much as he is. I feel my insides beginning to grow and I can see that he can tell as he leans over into my ear and whispers, “Oh, Soph,” he says over and over again as we lock eyes once again, but this time I cannot break the contact. I cannot look away; I can see the love that he holds for me. I know that he can see the amount of love that I hold for him. His eyes grow wider as I know that he is getting ready to climax and I fell let myself release around him and it’s all that he needs for the finish. When we finish he doesn’t move and I know that I don’t want him to. We just stare into one another’s eyes for far too long.

“Austin,” I say not being able to control my mouth.

“Don’t Soph, I know.” He says and in his eyes I know that he knows I was going to tell him that I love him, and he couldn’t hear it. He finally slides off of me as he gets up and walks to the bathroom. I stand as I walk towards the door that faces the beach and look out onto the spectacular full moon that is shining onto the water.  I feel his hands on my arms as I turn around to look at him. I’m not nearly as drunk as the first time that I kissed him when I got here. “Come lay down with me?” he asks me. “I just want one more night with you in my arms.” There is no way I would ever be able to pass that up.

Fated Teaser #4

Here is the 300 likes teaser... again it's a rough copy and like always is subject to change!

I wake only a few hours later before the sun has fully risen, and when I look at Austin my heart breaks for him, for us, for this beautiful thing that has broken apart, even if I wanted to make this work and see past what he did do, I’m not even sure exactly now what it is I heard. I know if I am here when he wakes up it will be harder for both of us, and we will feel the need to explain. I get dressed quickly and close his back door behind me as I decide to walk to the apartment. I let myself cry the whole walk back taking as much time as I need. When I finally make it to the complex I take the elevator up leaning back against with the tears still slowing down my cheeks. When it dings I empty myself out of the car and walk to the door. I close the front door and lean against it as Paige comes running out of her room on the phone.

“She’s here.” She says into the receiver and I can only imagine that she is talking to Mar on the phone, again with the weird twin ESP, “She’s crying but looks fine, Soph, are you alright?”I look up to her and try to smile and give her thumbs up.

“Physically… yes.” She sighstelling Mar and hanging up the phone. “What’s wrong love?”

“He’s moving to New York.” And Ilet myself fall apart again.

Hope you all enjoy... 

I am hoping to have one last teaser before the 1st of July... 

-N

Fated

New cover for Fated from the wonderful Sam at Cover Pub... 

YAY!! It's so amazing!

... The facebooker

I am excited to say that I am going to reveal my cover (from the awesome CoverPub) tonight at midnight... So exciting, make sure to like me  on facebook so you don't miss it!!! Whoop Whoop..

... Me

So, exciting news... I got a new cover made for Fated, which is amazing!!! I'm so excited to share it with everyone.

BUT I am wanting to hold out on revealing it until 200 likes on my Facebook page... So go, like, share, show some love!!!

Fated teaser #3

Although that I have gone though this once for edits, I know that there probably is more. It is still going to be edited at least one more time! ENJOY!

I wake early the next morning and get ready to make my way to the courtroom. I exit the cab and I see Austin look over to me; I can tell that he didn’t sleep and somewhere inside of me I start to feel bad for him. I force myself to walk up the steps and he meets me without saying a word, we both know that this isn’t the time to talk about anything. He places his hand on my arm and I pull it away. His eyes lower and I think that he his embarrassed. I’m not sure why.

We are finally able to go into the room when he finally says something to me, “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I stop when I see Joe. I forgot how handsome that I thought he was. He smirks at me and it’s almost the last inch that breaks me but I stop and walk back outside, I need some air. I lean against the building as I catch my breath when the door opens and I expect to watch Austin walk out to me. Instead of the spectacular blue eyes I want to see I see Joe’s shallow grey ones. I, almost as if out of instinct, reach into my pocket of my coast and fumble with my phone as he places his hands on each side of me so I cannot move away.

“You look good, Sophie. I forgot how damn sexy you look when you dress up.” He smirks as he steps closer to me, and I look away not wanting to talk to him. “Too bad your life fell apart and now no one wants you. wasn’t that your boyfriend, your lawyer? Oh, but you didn’t look very loving, because no one could ever love you Sophie, you’re a fucking little cunt. That’s why I went after the only thing I wanted from you… your money, but you already know that was Becky and I’s plan all along marry you and then divorce you and take all of your money.” Astonishing the part that hurts the most is when he mentions Becky’s name. “But sadly you don’t have any more of it but I can force you to pay me for the rest of your life, well let’s be honest you’re a great fuck too.” I still don’t say a word, terrified that he is going to do something else. Or say something else. He grabs my arms tightly and smirks to me again.

“Joe, you’re hurting me please let me go.” I beg him and he just laughs and tightens his grip. I think I whimper a little bit.

“The best part of your makeshift relationship was enjoying seeing your life crumble. People like you make me sick.”

“People like what?” I say with a shaky voice still in pain from the grip he has on my arms.

“People who take so much without even thinking about it,” he says laughing and then finally releasing my arms and walking away. I finally exhale and walk inside to the courtroom and pull my phone out quickly just to make sure. I am trembling when I sit down next to Austin and he looks to me as if asking me where I am been. My eyes are rimmed red, from the tears that I wanted to cry. I can’t keep my mind focused and then he brushes my arm as they call me up to the stand, I flinch when his hand makes contacts with my bruises and he looks to me confused.

Fated teaser #2

I'm soo excited about this one! I loved it, I nursed it to life, and I watched it grow... ha only slightly kidding on that! :)

This is a rough copy and although I have gone through it once with edits I know it is probably still chalk-full of them.

Fated Teaser #2!!!!!!!!

The week came and went faster than I wanted it to and it was Saturday, the dreaded, fifteenth before I knew it. I am again slouched in my char looking out the window out onto the beautiful ocean that sat in my horizon. It is calming. I hear a light tapping on my door and it opens. I look up to see Marsi standing in the dark looking at me with a sullen face.

“Hey, Soph,” she says looking down at her hands, “How are you doing?”

I don’t answer her but simply look to the window and shrug my shoulders.

“Alright,” she says silently and turns on her heal to walk out of the bedroom back out into the light of the hallway. I didn’t see the need with turning on my light today. I think that before she leaves I hear her mumble a, “I’m so sorry, Soph.”

I am sitting on my balcony a few hours later, still not a light on in my entire room, when I hear my door open again and I look over to the direction that Mar is in, “Get up,” she says slightly smiling.

“What?” I ask almost confused by her change in attitude.

“Get up, we’re going out.” She demands.

“I do-don’t want to.” I tell her quietly.

“You are not sitting in here, wallowing in your own self-pity. You are going to get up, put on the sexiest thing that you can find in your ridiculously expensive wardrobe, and we are going to go out and have fun.” I walk over to my bed and sit down.

“Mar, I’m really not feeling up to this,” I look down at my feet, “Can’t I just stay here.”

“No, now get up, we are going to go meet a few of my friends out in town and have fun. MOVE IT!” she turns and before she leaves the room she adds, “You are not going to let fucking Joe ruin one more day of your life. We are young, we are going to act like it,” she finishes and walks out of my room slamming the door.

I begrudgingly get up off of the bed and head for the shower. I am supposed to dress sexy. I’m not even sure if I remember what that looks like.

I pull myself out of the shower, blow drying my hair, and straightening it, so that it falls straight down my back. I walk into my closet with my towel pulled tightly around my body. I pull out of the mess of clothing that I have managed to get around to putting up this week, a short white BCBG dress that hugs my body just right, and then I pull out a pair of hot pink heels. I walk out of my bedroom well after the sun has set and Marsi looks over to me and smiles.

“Perfect,” she stands up and she looks simply stunning as well. I love how she likes to mock my wardrobe, but yet I’m pretty sure that her outfit is more expensive than mine. We pull up to a club and I watch at Mar gets out and then motions for me to follow. I worry that we won’t be able to get in, but she bypasses the line and walks right up to the bouncer.

“Marsi,” I hear him say as he reaches down to hug her.

“Hi, Daryl, this is my sister, Sophie.” I smile politely at him.

“Oh, Sophie, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” I am completely take a back when he hugs me and Mar just looks to me, smiles, and shrugs.

“Nice to meet you too,” I struggle back to say to him. Daryl lets us into the club a second later and I lean over to Mar, “How do you know him?” and she laughs.

“His brother had to get surgery last year, he was impressed with me, I guess, and told me to come by here, I did and I have been coming here ever since,” I laugh about this, my sister, the club hopper. I look down, “Come on,” she says to me, “let’s go dance.”

“Aren’t your friends coming?” I ask her.

“Yeah, but they won’t be here for a little while.” She pulls me to the dance floor.

We danced for half an hour before Mar saw her friends walk in and she went over to them. I stayed on the dance floor for another ten minutes, releasing every bit of built up tension that I had in my body. When I finally stop I walk over to the bar for another drink. I motion for a round and the guy smiles to me, he is cute but seems too sweet, maybe I could get a bartending job… no, I won’t like to work in a place that I could be having fun at.

“You know, you clean up really nice,” I hear in my ear and even though it has been two weeks since I have heard that voice, and I have only ever heard it that one night, I know who it is. I turn my head slowly and look up at the man that I met at the Applebee’s, “I almost didn’t recognize you in that dress, you know without the oversized sweater.” I am blown away, is he hitting on me, “But I couldn’t help but watch you out there.” He says nodding his head behind him to the dance floor.

“Are you stalking me,” I smirk back to him as my drinks are sat down on the bar and I throw a shot of tequila back. He laughs a little and rubs his hand across the back of his neck.

“No, I should be asking you that thought since I’m the one that lives here.” He smiles at me, oh that smile. I was already a sucker for it and I barely knew the man.

“Well, I do too, now. Remember I was moving.” He grins a little and I notice his head cocks to the side and his face falls a bit.

“It’s the fifteenth, isn’t it?” I nod my head in a response to him, taking the biggest sip from my straw as I see Mar walking over to me. Mid-sip I watch her as she walks to my side.

“Soph, there you are… oh, I see that you have met Austin, he’s the lawyer that I was telling you about.” Which causes me to spit out my drink which manages to land on him, of course he’s the womanizer.

“You’re Sophie.” I nod my head and he shakes his, “Of course you’re Sophie.” I’m not sure what that is supposed to mean but he gets up and Mar locks her arm in mine and motions us back to the table, helping with my drinks as we walk over.

“Of course he would seek you out here.” I want to tell her that we met before this, “Don’t worry though I told him that you’re off limits.”

“Why?” I ask her quietly.

“Because you’re my sister, and he’s never going to change his ways,” she says and I sigh a little, “Oh, Soph I know he is incredibly gorgeous, but he’s terrible for every woman that comes into his life. He has had his car windshield smashed on more than one occasion.” I’m not sure now if she’s keeping him away from me or me away from him knowing that I would lose my shit and smash in his windshield also.

of an Indie Author...

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in quicksand. That it doesn't matter what move you make you are sinking... Yeah, well... some times that is me. Some times I get this feeling that nothing I do is good enough, that no matter how hard that I work that it just isn't going to happen, but then my wonderful husband looks at me and smiles, telling me that I have what it takes and that he knows something good will happen. Some times he doesn't even need to tell me, but I can see it all over his face.I think as writers we all doubt ourselves, but what helps in the success is having someone standing behind you pushing you along. Your own cheerleader. Someone who pulls your stories up, or who can't help but scan over the words flirting with him/her on the screen because he/she knows the amount of talent that you possess and he/she believes in you, and stands behind you no matter what you do!

Why do I think that I can write fairy tales? Because I'm living one.




Now done with that cheesy nonsense. I can't wait to share my new cover for fated with everyone, anyone... And in light of this event... I think that I am going to get a teaser ready, early! I just have to figure out which part I am going to reveal! EEK

Fated... First Teaser!!!

I'm soo excited about this one! I loved it, I nursed it to life, and I watched it grow... ha only slightly kidding on that! :)

This is a rough copy and although I have gone through it once with edits I know it is probably still chalk-full of them.

Chapter One

Sophie

I’m completely unaware of what I am doing at this moment in time; it’s almost as if I am having an out of body experience… I watch the small car veer off of the interstate and down the off ramp. I see myself sulking as I am pumping gas and then walking inside of the store to pay and use the restroom. My life is in complete shambles right now. I am twenty-five, single, massive amounts of student loan debt that is currently being sent to collections, and I haven’t eve used my degree since getting out of college, a failed business, and I have been evicted from my apartment, twice.

Last year at this time if someone would have told me where I would be now I would have laughed; I had everything. Like I said I have an unused English degree, but last year that didn’t matter, again I had everything. I had started my own party planning business in Boston shortly after I had graduated from college, which was going well, I was making close to ten thousand dollars a month. I had my boyfriend who had just purposed to me and we were beginning to plan our wedding. I had a beautiful downtown apartment that everyone was envious of.

Everything started falling apart during the summer when my business started slowing down and collapsing around me, and at the beginning of November I had to move in with my fiancée. I figured that even with my failing business that at least I had him, so my life wasn’t completely fucked… at least now at that moment.

Everything crumbled the week after Thanksgiving. I had just gotten the news that I had to close the doors to the business the beginning of December, between the wedding and trying to keep it afloat, and the fact that I didn’t have much anyways, that I had blown my savings. What I was in my twenties, I didn’t think that I needed a whole lot. So here I was the day that I locked my doors for the last time and I walked my small, pathetic self, back to the apartment. I had once loved walking home. My old apartment building was spectacular, it over looked the entire city, and I had full floor to ceiling windows, and believe me it was amazing at night, especially when you were having sex, but that is neither here nor there. So, where was I , oh yes, I am walking back through the snowy street, we had just gotten an unexpected snow storm for Thanksgiving and it was all melting away, it crunched under my shoe. I sighed as I opened the small door that led up to Joe’s apartment.

Joe and I had met two years ago, when I was planning his sister’s wedding. He was kind and charming, and extremely good looking. He was tall with muscles in all the right places, he had these deep grey eyes that I at one time thought were beautiful but now I think otherwise, and then the messy hair that sat on top of his head, sometimes I couldn’t say no to him. He didn’t realize at first how much money that I had, but once he saw my apartment he had to have. I was twenty-three living in one of the most sought after and expensive complexes in the city. I was worried at first that he was only with me because I had such a successful company, but as time went on I believed that we had this amazing chemistry. We did, we took romantic cruises, we had an amazing time, and when we got engaged a year later no one was surprised.

Paige, my best friend and employee had urged me to get a per-nup before we went through with the wedding, but I was convinced that Joe wasn’t after the small fortune that I had managed to accumulate plus I knew that I always managed to blow it all anyways, I was constantly struggling to pay bills, but he had no idea. I was convinced that he really loved me for me. I was twenty-four, stupid, impulsive, too creative for my own good, and now broke.

So, where was I… oh yes, I walked up the staircase to Joe’s small, crummy apartment, the only thing that was holding me together on this day was that our wedding was on the fifteenth, in exactly two and a half weeks. It was the only thing that had put a smile on my face all day. I picked up my steps a bit not wanting life to defeat me at that moment. I slide my key into the lock and entered, immediately walking to the bathroom and starting the tub. I slipped into it only moments later and let the water engulf my body. I felt myself slowly falling asleep in the tub, but figured that maybe, just maybe, a soothing nap would help me.

I was awoken some time later to the front door being slammed shut and then voices coming from the living room. I got out of the tub and slipped into the clothes that I had lying on the floor. As I pulled up my yoga pants up over my ass I heard the conversation as I can only guessed they made their way into the bedroom.

“I told you, baby, it’s not like that. This had been the plan from the beginning,” I heard Joe say, and I wondered who he was calling babe, “get her to fall in love with me, marry her, divorce her, and get a large chunk of change that we can live off of for a while.” His words crushed me at that moment.

“I know, it’s just how do you know that she won’t make you sign it,” I heard a female voice say. My whole body went cold as I sat down on the edge of the tub and listened, I know that it wasn’t what I should have done, and I listened to any more, but because I was invading their privacy, but because it was crushing me inside to hear it. Then I heard him laugh.

“Because, she thinks that I truly love her,” he wasn’t aware that I had just locked the doors today; when I had moved in here I had used the excuse that since we were getting married I wanted to go ahead and start living together, and my apartment wasn’t a family apartment. I had managed to fall into a depression in the last week and he didn’t even notice; I understand why now.

“But you don’t?” she asked coyly, the way the words sounded made me want to be sick.

“Now babe, you know that you are the only one that I love.” He said and then I heard him kiss her. He had used me this whole time, trying to get money; that bastard. I let myself sink off of the side of the tub and onto the cold hard tiled floor; it was the perfect simile for my life at the moment. I heard her giggled followed by at, “Joe, stop it.” and it made me sick. I silently cried into my lap for minutes that lasted longer than I thought they could.

Then the hurt resided, and anger coursed through me. My eyes popped open, completely clear of tears as I threw open the door and saw them completely naked all over one another. 

YAY!!! I am excited for this! This is just a little snippet when I get to 100 likes on Facebook I will release the remainder of chapter one... 

... f'in writers block...

There are few things that have really taken by surprise... and every time that I see a 5 stars on one of my novels.

But tonight, I read my first 5 star review on my books. You can say that I am struggling to try and get it out there... I am,  but to read that someone enjoys my work, and it touches them as much as it touches me means more than anyone could ever imagine...

That's all I wanted to share tonight, but I have been having this really great feeling lately, and I hope it keeps up!!

Hope everyone has a magical say and do something to make someones day...

ATFT Teaser #5

Alright... one last before monday when I am wanting to let it out...

Present

He pulls back from my face and looks up at me. I feel the engine on the old car roar and him push it into gear. We drive to a hotel that I have never noticed before… I hold onto his hand tightly, afraid that if I let go that he will disappear. He cuts off the engine and then opens his door and I follow him… looking over my shoulder hoping that no one sees me walking into the room. He opens the door and closes it behind himself. The hotel isn’t a classy place but it’s good enough, but anywhere would be good enough to stay at with him. He closes the door behind me. He runs his hands up my body and I suck in a breath. He brings his mouth down to mine and I kiss him back more passionately than I have ever before. I feel the sides of his mouth turn up and his fingers fumble with the bottom of my shirt as I pull away and look to him.

“I have missed this,” he says quietly. He pulls my shirt up over my head and he smiles at me then twists my wrists over and kisses it. He kisses the mark on my arm the one that will never go away. “I always worried that this would come back and I wouldn’t be there for you.” He kisses the marks that only he knows about.

“No, I could never do that again. I knew that you never wanted me to, so I didn’t.” I was entirely confused still to why he was here. He pulls me with him as he walks backward to the bed and I push him on his chest and he lets his body fall onto the bed. I kneel down over top of him as he smiles up to me.

“God, you are beautiful,” he tells me and I meet his lips forcefully.

I pull the cover over top of my body as I am gasping for my breath. I roll over and I meet Liam’s stare coming back to me. He smiles as he brushes a piece of my hair out of my face. “I’m sorry I have been gone for so long, Hay.” I am still confused. He reaches down and laces his hand into mine.

“So?” I let my sentence end there as I look at him and he smiles, he already knows what I am asking.

“Hay, I’m right here.” He says rubbing the pad of his thumb on my cheek.

“But then what happened?”

“There was an explosion.” He looks away, and for a second I fear that he is lying about everything. “They thought that I was dead, but I wasn’t. I was disoriented and I was thrown from the wreck with the impact of the blast. I guess that it was pretty bad so I can only imagine that they thought some of the body parts that were all over were some of mine as well.” I shudder when I think of it. “David, after he got back from the states, found me wondering and took me in. He decided that since the Corps already thought I was dead, and so did everyone else that he was going to try and help me get back over here to start over new. He somehow managed to get me a new passport and I.D. I’m not sure how it worked out but it has so far.

“How long do you think that you can get away with it?”

“Well, I’m not really sure, but the government thinks that I am dead.” He admits to me, the whole thing seems a little too good to be true. “I come back here once a year to see how everyone is going… although David told me never to come back, but I can only go a year without seeing you. I know that you have noticed me before.” I smile and I nod my head.

“Who else do you see while you’re here?”

“Well, mainly just you. Sometimes I go by and see my mom, but not very often.”

“You mean that every year when I think that you have come to me that…”

“Yeah, I was really there.” I’m not sure how to react with this information.

“But you let me believe that you were dead.” I feel the anger raging up inside of me.

“I had to,” he looks to the floor, but I still want to be mad at him about it.

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Because I can’t take you being away from me anymore. I want you to come with me. I want to move away somewhere where we can be together and don’t have to hide.” I can’t believe he is asking me to do this, and all I can think is about us sitting in the mall and him telling me he would give up everything for me. 

Yay... I have everything ready to go and I am going to hit the button tomorrow at some point and time... Yippie! This has been a long work in progress... ready to let people read it... I think.

... The birthday girl!

So, today happens to be my birthday... yay!

Well, my plan was to release my newest project today, but life got in the way of that and I wasn't able to finish the last edit before I release it... And I don't want to tomorrow because I have already worked my 'real' job today and I want a little bit of time to spend with my hubby, but it is mostly because that there is a highly anticipated release coming out tomorrow  and I can no way compete with that... So, I am thinking that I was finish it either by the end of the week or first thing next week... Look out for it.. here is the link to the good reads page!

A Tragic Fairy Tale


And Also, here is a 4th teaser (short teaser though...)

Present

I sit down in front of the man image of the boy that I once loved in front of me. I inhale once and hold my breath. “You seem uneasy,” he whisper which causes me to laugh my breath out and instantly puts me at ease.

“Well, you know, it’s been awhile since we have seen each other, and the last time we spoke it wasn’t exactly pleasantries.” He laughs with me and shrugs his shoulders as if to tell me that he doesn’t understand why he said the things that he did.

2007

“You know that?” he screamed into my face, “You’re a fucking slut.” I let a sob escape my lips.

“But you said that you didn’t want to be with me,” he paused looking at me and spun around about to storm off.

Present

That’s how our last conversation went.

I look up to the present form sitting in front of me. “Why did you say that?” I ask him with a hurt tone in my voice. After all these years those words still sting just as bad as they had that day. He shrugs his shoulders, sighing.

“Because I love-d you.” I hear him say but my heart clings onto the hesitation in his voice when he decided to add the past tense.

“But you said that you had known me to long?” I ask him barely over a whisper.

“I thought that I had, but the moment after I sent it I instantly regretted it. That’s why I tried to keep in contact with you, but you moved on.” I see the hurt in his voice. “You stopped talking to me. You shut me out of your life.”

“If I remember, so did you.” I tell him. 

A Tragic Fairy Tale teaser #3

Here is the third teaser to ATFT 

Present

I sit across from him as we finish our meal, but neither one of us move. I look down at my plate that sits empty in front of me as I feel his eyes staring into me. I start to feel uncomfortable when I look back up to him and he smiles. It is gentle, but it holds more than he wants me to know.

“Star crossed lovers.” He whispers barely loud enough for me to hear him.

“Stop,” I tell him, “That time in our lives is done and over with.” I hear him sigh in front of me and I tell myself not to look at him. I can hear the hurt that’s lined in his sigh.

“I’m sorry, Hay.” He says looking up to me through his lashes. I shake my head quickly telling him that we shouldn’t be talking about it. “I waited for you,” he tells me, “I waited to run into you when I would come back home, but I never did. It was like some force field kept us apart. I would go to all the areas that I knew you used to go to. I went to your old job hoping that you would come in. I was lost without you in my life… for a long time.”

“Liam… stop.” I tell him, lifting my hand into the air.

“But it’s true. I waited years to tell you this. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t want you.”

“And those are all things that you should have told me years ago.”

“But you changed your number; you moved on so quickly. I knew that the only way I would have a shot was if I saw you.”

“I had to move on,” I know that he doesn’t understand, “I met Reid shortly after you left. I was hurt by you and wasn’t sure if I was ever going to trust anyone again. He fixed me. He completes me Liam. He makes me the person that I am supposed to be. He will never ever leave me the way you did then.” The last sentence comes out harsher than I intend it to, but it must do.

“Please, let me finish.”

“Liam,” I say leaning over the table, “You’re married.”

“And I love my wife, more than I can express sometimes. But the things that we had… they cannot be replaced. I think about them at times. I think about you a lot. Not just the intimate moments, but our friendship. You were an amazing friend and you always forgave and I just continued to throw that away.” I sit shocked staring up to him it was as if everything I had felt over the years about him he was expressing. I love my husband beyond words but sometimes if I think about Liam I get that twinge of jealousy.

“It wasn’t just you Liam. We were awful for one another. Maybe that’s why you never ran into me after you came back. Maybe someone was watching out for us. Maybe someone knew that we would end up ruining one another more than we already had.” And I know that we would have. We would have destroyed each other.

“I ruined you?” he asked me through hurt eyes.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“You made it harder for me to trust.” I say to him without looking up to meet his eyes.

“I know, I remember the conversation.” I remember the conversation as well. I wish that I could scrub my memory of it, but it never seemed to go away, no matter how much I tried to forget it.



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of A Tragic Fairy Tale

Here is a second sneak to A Tragic Fairy Tale...


Teaser #2

Graduation day seemed to pass by quicker than I could even imagine. I don’t even remember most of the day really. I always thought that the memory of walking across the stage to receive my diploma would be something that sticks out in my memory forever but I am having difficultly retrieving it.

Afterwards we had gone to a party to celebrate. I remember smiling when I looked up to Liam and locked eyes with him as a guy that had graduated the previous year came up and started coming onto me. I knew that I was in love with Liam to I tried to move out of the way clearly telling him that I was not interested. I walked outside hoping to put enough space between me and the guy that he would find someone else to hit on except he followed me outside where there were even less people around he began to press me up against the wall. I was pleading with him to let me go, but he told me that he would hold me in place until I told him that it was alright to have sex with me. I knew that I wouldn’t give in… at least I thought that I wouldn’t.

Twenty minutes went by of being pressed into the hard concrete wall I felt myself beginning to cave, except I didn’t want to sleep with him I just wanted to get back to Liam, my protector.

“Please, stop,” I begged.

“No, just go ahead and say that you are willing and we can get this over with.” He said as he grabbed my arms tightly and held them down by my sides.

“No,” I shouted, “I don’t want to sleep with you.” I said it loud enough that I hoped the other people that were standing outside would hear me; when I didn’t see a single head turn to look at me I felt myself fighting back tears, I knew that  there was nothing that I could do. I felt helpless. I felt a hand start to slide up my inner thigh and onto my stomach. I wanted to vomit at his touch. His hand holding onto my arms began to make the area where his hand held throb, “Please, stop. You’re hurting me.” I begged him. I saw Brandon come out of the sliding glass door and I locked eyes with him and sent him a pleading look to help me. he turned quickly walking back into the house and I sighed as I felt my body being defeated and I knew that I was only going to be able to tell him to stop for a little while longer before I would feel completely helpless and I knew I would eventually give in. I didn’t want to, but it didn’t seem that I had another choice. When you are backed into a corner- literally- and you have no other choice eventually you will cave. I felt the hand travel up my body and rest on my breasts as I felt a sob escape my lips. I clenched my eyes shut as I felt his mouth on the side of my face, except it wasn’t in a sensual way; he was just rubbing his mouth on the side of my face. I let another sob escape my mouth and a tear broke through my eyelid-wall and begin to roll down my cheek.

“Please, stop,” I pleaded with him through a sob, but my voice was no longer powerful, it was weak. It was broken.

“You know the way to get me to stop.” I heard him say to me quietly enough so that I could only hear. I started to cry. “That’s right sweetheart, I like it when they cry.” He said a bit louder.

“Excuse me?” I heard a deep voice ask at outside. My heart leapt. Liam… I felt the guy loosen his grip on me and look over to him, but I still didn’t want to open my eyes.

“Dude, this one is mine. Go find your own.” He bit back.

“No,” Liam said calmly to him, “I think that you have mistaken. This one is mine. YOU find your own.” He shouted at him causing my eyes to pop open and look to him just as he pulled his fist back and then threw it directly into the guy’s face which caused him to loose balance and fall to the ground. I instantly jumped away from the wall and safely placed myself at Liam’s side. He put his arms around my body and pulled me with him. I looked back as the guy was pulling himself off of the ground, stunned. Liam pulled me around the side of the house to where his car was sitting. He sat me on the front end of it and looked into my eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked me. He held up my arms as he looked at them and he slides his hands over the area that was going to bruise, and I winced. I watched the anger roll onto his face and I knew that I needed to defuse the situation for now.

“Oh yes, I was just assaulted by someone. I’m just fine.” I told him and he laughed. He knew that I was being sarcastic, and slightly an asshole.

“Do you want to leave?” he asked me, and the question held more depth than it usually did. I nodded my head, he smiled, and he walked over to the passenger side opening the door for me. I had never seen him be much of a gentleman unless it came to me. I smiled and walked over to the car setting myself inside of it. he looked down at me with a look that was filled with so much emotion. He walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door setting himself inside of it. He drove down the road without saying a word to me.

“I wanted to kill him.” He finally said when we were almost to my house and I’m pretty sure that my heart stopped.

“You can’t do that.” I simply told him.

“Why shouldn’t I? Look what he was doing to you-,” he trailed for a moment and his grip tightened on his steering wheel, “He was going to force you to sleep with him Hay. He grabbed your arms so tightly that they will bruise. He’s a sick fuck and he needs to be taught a lesson.” He told me.

“-And you did. You punched him in the face.”

“No, that wasn’t good enough.”

“No, Liam, you can’t do that.” I said turning in my seat to look at him.

“And why not?”

“Because you can’t. you can get into trouble.” I said to him as he pulled his car into the driveway of my house. I sighed as we walked up the three steps and I opened the door. He followed me into my bedroom and sat down on the bed.

“I don’t care about getting into trouble. Hay, this is you we are talking about,” he said walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. “I would do anything for you; to make sure that you are safe.” He told me and I felt my eyes widen. I felt the alcohol that I had consumed that night begin to take its effects on me. I watched as his face came closer to mine and I felt his soft lips fall down to mine. He quickly pulled his face away from mine as I see his eyes in shock.

“I’m sorry,” he said turning his eyes toward the ground, “I don’t know what came over me-,” I cut him off as I stood up on my toes and met his lips with mind. I feel him pull me back to the bed from across the room and his hand started to pull at my shirt and pull it over my head. He fumbled at my shirt as it got stuck around me head and I laughed, slowly pulling it up the rest of the way. I leaned down and pulled at his shirt pulling it over his head and he is lying on top of me. I run my hands down his abs that stare back at me, and run my fingers over the tattoos that he has managed to get in the last couple of months. I feel his mouth on my neck and I moan out a bit. I feel his press his hips into me and I feel myself already becoming undone. I had no clue how long that I have wanted this, but in this instant I knew that it was longer than I ever let on to anyone. I felt the nerves inside of me consume myself, it had been so long since I had last slept with anyone, and it was the first time that I was going to be sleeping with someone that I actually wanted to I could barely control myself.

We lay on the bed panting as we try and catch out breaths. I feel his eyes on me as he stares to me and smiles. I roll over placing my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his torso. He let me. I looked him in the eyes and he smiled at me and moved his head down placing a kiss on my cheek. I had never at that time in my life felt as much love as he was radiating towards me. we sat up talking for hours until we finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed with a note on the nightstand stating…

-Hay-

Sorry I had somewhere I needed to be; I had to get going… See you later

-Lee-

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A Tragic Fairy Tale... Teaser number one.

Lots of posts lately... I just finished the first edit on ATFT and I forgot how much I love it... here is a little taste of  it. 

“Shit,” I mutter under my breath. I slowly, carefully make my way up the opposite side of the store than I think that he will be at. Please don’t let me run into him, or if I do please don’t let him want to talk to me. I make my way past the items that sit in the middle of the novelty store and I hear his voice come from behind me. I wonder if he is with anyone. I know he just doesn’t randomly talk to himself, he isn’t like that. I hold my breath when I see his face come around the corner and pass through the odd assortment of sex toys that are surrounding me. Good, beach it would be even more awkward if he found me in here. I wait a couple of second before I emerge myself out of the tiny little area that the rack surrounding me creates. I hurry myself out of the store and start to walk in the direction that my car is parked when I face plant into a hard torso. The smell instantly takes me back to when I was sixteen… when I feel the love for the first time. I inhale a sharp breath. Damn him and his hard abs.
“Hayley?” he asks me handing up his phone, and I turn around quickly and mumble an apology before I begin to walk in the opposite direction. “Hayley, wait… it’s me, Liam.” He says sunning up next to me. “God, it’s been forever. How have you been?” I can feel his eyes looking over my every inch. I wonder if seeing me jogs the memories for him as well; I inhale deeply and pause turning to my side and faking a smile, only for him, and he knows it’s fake as well. I attempt to avoid looking him in the eyes. Oh, those eyes.
“Oh, hey… I didn’t recognize you.” I lie, and I wonder if he knows.
“You look great.” He smiles at me and I instantly let my eyes travel to his hand and my eyes catch a glimpse at the ring that sits on his finger. I feel a knot develop in my stomach that I can only classify as jealousy. I finally let my eyes trail up to his and look him in the eyes.
“Thanks,” I say more chipper than I mean for it to come out, “So do you.” Old memories start soaring through my mind. I try my best at shoving them away.
“It’s been so long. How have you been doing?” he asks me. I’m sure he’s only doing it to be polite.
“Good,” I pause wondering if I should tell him for a second, “I’m married now.”
“I know-,” he says lifting his hand showing me his. “Here too, Crazy isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“Who knew that we would actually ever grow up?” He smiles to me. I feel a twinge in my heart, but I laugh anyways.
“Who knew that the war we waged between us would ever really end.” I smile and he looks down for a moment and I can see that he is embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, instantly feeling bad for saying what I didn’t. I do have a problem with saying inappropriate things.
“No, tis’ not your fault; we both did things that I’m sure neither of us are proud of.” I nod my head. Instantly knowing what he is talking about. “Look, I’ve got some time to kill want to grab some lunch? “I know that he can sense I am uneasy especially when he looks to me again and adds. “Just maybe some food court lunch.” I reluctantly nod my head. I don’t want to agree to it, but I can’t manage to let myself say no, he has always had that effect on me.
“Great,” he bellows and smiles, turning waling in the direction. I mentally yell at myself as he leads me toward the food court. For the first time I let my eyes look over him. I notice the muscular tome to his body. He always had that, and I was always a sucker for that. With him and anyone else, this is probably why my husband is even more muscular that him. I make myself think about running my fingertips over Reid’s abs that sits under his shirt. I look up and I can’t help but watch Liam’s back side walk in front of myself I look up seeing his black hair, I think about his bright blue eyes, and I yell internally at myself to stop. That part of my life is over and I need to remember the awful things that he said and did to me. But I remind myself that looking isn’t doing anything wrong. Just because I look at him and don’t have to use my imagination as to what is laying underneath those clothes doesn’t count as cheating does it? I love my husband, I do… I mean I really do. But standing in front of me is the one that got away. Standing in front of me was the downfall to my life; the downfall that I had to work so hard to get back from. I follow him as he walks in the direction of the pizza place and I walk up begin him. One good thing about eating with an ex is that they always feel the need to pay for it. I smile at my thought.


there you go... first teaser... hope you enjoy it, and just remember that I had at least one more edit to do before it will be done!



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